"I need a six month vacation, twice a year."
"I'm not lazy. I'm just on my energy saving mode."
"Time is precious. Waste it wisely."
"Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth."
"Thanks to Facebook. I now know what everyone's
bathroom looks like."
"Laughter is the best medicine. But, if you're laughing
without any reason, you need medicine."
"With great power comes great electricity bill.
"When I die, I want to go peacefully like my
grandfather did–in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in
his car." — Bob Monkhouse
"A successful man is one who makes more money than his
wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man." — Lana
Turner
"I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a
piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof." — Rodney
Dangerfield