Funny Englis Jokes

<a href="http://shortnicemessages.blogspot.com.tr/2015/10/joke.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Funny English Jokes - 1</b></span></a><br /> <a href="http://shortnicemessages.blogspot.com.tr/2016/01/funny-english-jokes-2.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Funny English Jokes - 2</b></span></a><br /> <a href="http://shortnicemessages.blogspot.com.tr/2016/01/funny-english-jokes-3.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Funny English Jokes - 3</b></span></a><br /> <a href="http://shortnicemessages.blogspot.com.tr/2016/01/funny-english-jokes-3.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Funny English Jokes - 4</b></span></a><br /> <a href="http://shortnicemessages.blogspot.com.tr/2015/12/english-jokes-messages-sms.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Funny English Jokes - 5</b></span></a>

Funny Englis Jokes

Funny English Jokes - 1 Funny English Jokes - 2 Funny English Jokes - 3 Funny English Jokes - 4 Funny English Jokes - 5

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Funny English Jokes -4

<table border="1" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="MsoTable15Grid6ColorfulAccent6" style="border-collapse: collapse; border: none; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-padding-alt: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-yfti-tbllook: 1184;"> <tbody> <tr> <td style="border-bottom: solid #A8D08D 1.5pt; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-bottom-alt: solid #A8D08D 1.5pt; mso-border-bottom-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-bottom-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-bottom-themetint: 153; mso-border-bottom-themetint: 153; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-yfti-cnfc: 5;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">Jokes of the Rooster</span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-yfti-cnfc: 5;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">One day, Nasreddin Hoca chicken will take to the market was to fill their cages. The cage was full to overflowing with chicken that has been set forth, such as.<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">Half way into the cage to stop and have a look at: the poor animals "said." This is hot stuff like that compression will kill to stop. Bari let out, the market would run up behind me ... "said<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">And the cage door open so said. Chickens at a time and throwing out the four were spread apart. Nasreddin Hoca's bored in this business can too. Take a stick and began immediately in the hands of the chasing rooster:<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">-You rascal, you! At midnight, the morning you know that the path to the broad daylight of the market do not know why ..?</span><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="background: #E2EFD9; border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-background-themecolor: accent6; mso-background-themetint: 51; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">TEN AKCE FOR PESTAMAL</span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">One day, Great Tamerlane goes to the Aksehir Central Hamam (hamam=Turkish bath). In hamam, after undressed and wrapped ‘pestamals’ (large bath towel) around, they enter into hot room. They sit on ‘gobek tasi’ (large very hot marble). While sweating, they chat.<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">Then Tamerlane asks the Hodja:<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">-Hodja, you are very learned one! You know to appraise properly. Tell me what is my worth, my value?<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">-10 ‘Akce’ (old Turkish gold coin), replied the Hodja.<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">Tamerlane flies into a rage about the so low appraisal value for himself.<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">-You, idiot! says Tamerlane, how can yo say me my value is ten Akces, just this pestamal alone is worth 10 Akce!<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">Nasreddin Hoja replies by nodding,<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">-I included that when I gave you my estimate!<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">LETTER<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">An Iranian gave Hodja a letter he had received from a friend back home and asked Hodja to read it to him. Hodja looked at the letter. It was in Persian and the handwriting was terrible so he told the man “Have somebody else read it. “The man insisted. “Listen” said Hodja “I don’t know Persian. Even if it were in Turkish, the writing is so bad that I still wouldn’t be able to read it!” The Iranian got mad, “You are wearing a huge robe and a turban but can’t read even a simple letter. You should be ashamed of yourself!” Hodja took off the turban and the robe and gave them to the Iranian saying “If one can do everything by wearing a robe and a turban then here you can wear them and read the letter yourself!”<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="background: #E2EFD9; border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-background-themecolor: accent6; mso-background-themetint: 51; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">BLUE BEAD</span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">Hodja had two wives and, because they were jealous of each other they used to fight quite often. To put an end to the fighting Hodja gave each one a blue bead and said “Now don’t tell the other one that I have given you this bead which is a symbol of my love for you.” One day they were fighting again. They asked Hodja whom he loved the best. He answered calmly “I love the one who has the blue bead.” Each wife then thought Hodja loved her the best and they never bothered him again.<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">I’LL KNOW WHAT TO DO</span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">Hodja lost his saddlebag in the town where he had stopped to spend the night. “You either find my saddlebag or I’ll know what to do” he said to the peasants in town. The peasants were alarmed and they looked for it everywhere They finally found Hodja`s saddlebag and returned it to him. Just before Hodja left the town, the peasants asked “What would you have done if we hadn’t found it?” Hodja shrugged his shoulders and said “I have an old kilim at home. I was going to cut it up and make another saddlebag with it.”<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="background: #E2EFD9; border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-background-themecolor: accent6; mso-background-themetint: 51; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">THANK GOD!Hadja had lost his donkey. While he was looking for it, he kept repeating, “Thank God!”<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">“Hodja, why are you thanking God all the time?” people asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">“I am grateful that I was not on the donkey, otherwise I would be lost too.” he answered.<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">LET İT CRY!</span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">One night, Hodja was waken up by his wife while their baby was crying in his cradle. .<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">-Hodja, swing the cradle! This baby is not only mine but the half is yours.<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">Hodja with sleepy eyes,<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">-Ok, do it for the half of yours, let the half part of mine cry!.<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="background: #E2EFD9; border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-background-themecolor: accent6; mso-background-themetint: 51; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">IF THİS BE THE LİVER</span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">Nasreddin Hodja was very fond of liver. But every time he brought some home, his wife would seize the opportunity and give a party to her friends. Come evening and the Hodja would again be fed some soup or rice.<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">The excuse was always the same: “Ah Effendi, that good-for-nothing cat of yours stole the liver and ate the lot!”<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">On one such night the Hodja could contain himself no longer. He sprang up, fetched the steelyard and tying a handkerchief around the cat’s middle, weighed it carefully. Then turning to his wife:<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">– I thought so!, he said. The liver i brought home today weighed exactly one kilo. This cat here weighs one kilo too. Well, women, if this be the liver where is my cat?<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">LAST HOPE</span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">The Hodja had lost his donkey and was going about searching for it, at the same time singing gaily.<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">Someone couldn’t help asking:<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">-It looks funny to hear you sing, Hodja Effendi, when everyone knows you have lost your donkey. One would expect to see you wailing and lamenting your loss!<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">-My one last hope is that the dump creature may be behind that hill, yonder, my friend. Wait and hear the wailing and the lamenting, if that shouldn’t be the case!<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="background: #E2EFD9; border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-background-themecolor: accent6; mso-background-themetint: 51; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">I, MY OWN TOO, DİDN’T APPROVE</span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">Someones asked the Hodja:<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">-Effendi, Have you ever invented anything?<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">-I did, replied the Hodja.<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">-What did you invented?<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">-to eat the bread with snow… I invented it myself but I, my own too, didn’t approve…<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">My Sons Father Died</span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">One day they see Hodja dressed in black and ask:<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">What happened, Hodja Effendi? You’re dressed in black!<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">My son’s father has died, and so I’m mournful!<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="background: #E2EFD9; border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-background-themecolor: accent6; mso-background-themetint: 51; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">Bath Tip</span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">One day Hodja goes to the Turkish bath. The keepers, of the bath don’t care for him at all. They give him an old and torn bath towel. Hodja doesn’t say anything. When he is leaving the bath, he gives them a generous tip.<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">When he comes to the same bath a week later, he is served very well this time, but he gives them a very little tip.<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">The keepers of the bath say:<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">-“Effendi, are you giving such a little tip for our great care and respect?<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">Hodja says:<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">-“The tip I’m giving today is for last week’s service. The tip I gave last week was for today’s service.<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">Nightingale Junior</span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">One day Hodja climbs one of the charity trees by the roadside and starts eating some figs. A traveler who is going by calls:<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">-Halloo! Who are you? What are you doing there?<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">-“I’m a nightingale” says Hodja.<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">The man:<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">-“What a peculiar voice! Does a nightingale sing like this?”<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">-“What can I do? An inexperienced nightingale sings like this.”<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="background: #E2EFD9; border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-background-themecolor: accent6; mso-background-themetint: 51; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">They ask Hodja:<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">-“Do you know how to play the stringed instruments?”<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">-“Yes, I do,” says Hodja.<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">-“Ok, then. Play it,” they say giving him the stringed instrument. (We call this instrument “saz” in Turkish. It is used to play oriental music.)<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">Hodja takes the plectrum into his hand and starts striking the strings without striking the frets, and so produces same odd sounds.<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">-“Oh, Hodja. Do you play the saz like this? You should strike the frets; first and as you strike the strings with the plectrum, notes are produced in accordance with the tune,” they say,<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">-“The ones who cannot find the frets play it like that. I’ve found the fret as soon as I’ve taken the saz into my hand. So why should I lose time trying to find the fret?” says Hodja.<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">Mum Will Cry!</span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">One of Hodja’s sons is a potter in a nearby village. One day he says:<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">“Dad, I spent all my money on these pots. If it is sunny and they all dry in time, I’ll be rich. But if it rains, my mum will cry (it is an idiom in Turkish which means to be in distress h to be in a great difficulty)<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">Then Hodja calls on his elder son who lives in another village. His son says:<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">“Dad, I spent all my fortune on this farm. If it rains in time, I’ll become rich. But there is drought, my mum will cry.”<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">Hodja returns home bored. His wife says:<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">“What happened, Effendi? Why are you sulky today?”<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">“That is not important. You think of your own case. It doesn’t matter whether it rains or not; one of our sons mother will cry in any case.<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="background: #E2EFD9; border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-background-themecolor: accent6; mso-background-themetint: 51; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">While Nasreddin Hodja is traveling on a summer day, he feels very thirsty at noon. He sees a lake nearby. He sits by the lake to drink some water. He puts some water in his palm and drinks a mouthful of water quickly. But it causes nausea and he tries to spit out the water. He tastes Acıgöl’s water for the first time, and its water with sodium sulphate disturbs his stomach. While he is looking round, he comes across a small spring. When he understands that it is fresh water first he rinses his mouth, then he drinks it. He also waters his donkey. Later he looks at Acıgöl rising in waves noisily and puts some freshwater from the spring into his hands:<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">“Don’t put on airs like the rich but mean man’s property. What you call water must be like this!” he says scattering the water in his hands to the lake.</span></span><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> </tbody></table>

Funny English Jokes -4

Jokes of the Rooster One day, Nasreddin Hoca chicken will take to the market was to fill their cages. The cage was full to o...

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Funny English Jokes -3

<table border="1" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="MsoTable15Grid6ColorfulAccent6" style="border-collapse: collapse; border: none; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-padding-alt: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-yfti-tbllook: 1184;"> <tbody> <tr> <td style="border-bottom: solid #A8D08D 1.5pt; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-bottom-alt: solid #A8D08D 1.5pt; mso-border-bottom-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-bottom-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-bottom-themetint: 153; mso-border-bottom-themetint: 153; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-yfti-cnfc: 5;"> <span style="color: #538135; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 13.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-themecolor: accent6; mso-themeshade: 191;">The Architect<b><br /> One Sunday, an architect visited Seoul, Korea. He was there for a conference but had all<br /> <br /> Sunday to explore the city. He decided to take a taxi around the city and see lots of sites.<br /> <br /> He paid the taxi driver $100 and said, “Take me around Seoul and show me all the sites”<br /> <br /> The taxi driver was very happy for the business and started driving. Immediately, they saw a big, beautiful palace.<br /> <br /> The architect said in a loud voice (for he was from Texas). “What is the building?”<br /> <br /> The taxi driver said, “That is Gyeongbokgung. It took almost 20 years to build!<br /> <br /> “Ah, that’s nothing” replied the American. “We could build that in a year in America.<br /> <br /> The driver continued driving. Suddenly the Texan saw a large domed building. He asked,<br /> <br /> “What building is that?” The taxi driver said, “That is the National Assembly, it is the largest in Asia.”<br /> <br /> The architect replied, “Ah, that’s nothing. Back home, we could build that in a few weeks!”<br /> <br /> The taxi driver continued driving. They passed a very high, gold building which shimmered<br /> <br /> in the sun. The architect jumped up in his seat and screamed, “Oh my god! What building is that?”<br /> <br /> The taxi driver looked back at him and shook his head.<br /> <br /> He said, “I DON’T KNOW. IT WASN’T THERE THIS MORNING!”<br /> <!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br /> <!--[endif]--></b></span><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="background: #E2EFD9; border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-background-themecolor: accent6; mso-background-themetint: 51; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <span style="color: #538135; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 13.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-themecolor: accent6; mso-themeshade: 191;">The Salesman<b><br /> Henry Leech was a salesman. He was a good salesman and sold lots of vacuum cleaners. One week, the manager sent Henry into the countryside to sell.<br /> <br /> He drove out of town and stopped at a farmhouse. He knocked on the door and the farmer’s wife opened it. Henry started into his speech immediately.<br /> <br /> “Mam, how much time do you spend sweeping the floors? “<br /> <br /> “A lot of time. This is a farm and things get dirty quickly.” said the woman.<br /> <br /> “And how much time do you spend beating the carpets?” asked Henry.<br /> <br /> “A lot of time. This house gets dusty and my dog also lays on them”<br /> <br /> “Well” said Henry, “This is your lucky day.”<br /> <br /> Henry showed her his vacuum cleaner and said,<br /> <br /> “You can clean the house in 5 minutes with this!”<br /> <br /> The farmer’s wife didn’t look interested.<br /> <br /> Henry took out a big bag of dirt. He opened it and threw it all over the floor. The farmer’s wife was very surprised. Before she could speak Henry said, “ Mam, if this machine doesn’t pick up every last piece of dirt, I will eat all of it!!!!!”<br /> <br /> The farmer’s wife looked at Henry and said,<br /> <br /> “WELL, I WILL GET YOU A SPOON.<br /> <br /> WE HAVE NO ELECTRICITY.”<br /> <!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br /> <!--[endif]--></b></span><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <span style="color: #538135; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 13.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-themecolor: accent6; mso-themeshade: 191;">The Dog<b><br /> Linda Robinson was very thirsty so she went into a cafe. There was anold woman in the cafe.<br /> <br /> She was sitting near the door at a table. At her feet, under the table, there was a small dog.<br /> <br /> Linda bought a glass of lemonade and some cookies. She sat down at the table next to the old woman. The old woman sat quietly. She looked lonely. Linda decided to be kind and talk to the old woman.<br /> <br /> “It is very hot today.” she said.<br /> <br /> “Yes, but it is nice inside here.” replied the old woman.<br /> <br /> Linda looked at the dog and asked, “Does your dog like people.”<br /> <br /> The woman answered, “Oh! Yes! She loves people.”<br /> <br /> Linda wanted to give the dog a cookie. So she asked, “ Does your dog like cookies?”<br /> <br /> “They are his favourite food.” said the old lady.<br /> <br /> Linda was terribly afraid of dogs so she asked, “Does your dog bite?”<br /> <br /> The old woman smiled and said, “ NO! My dog is very tame. She is even afraid of cats!”<br /> <br /> Linda took a cookie in her hand and reached under the table. She put it near the dog’s mouth.<br /> <br /> But the dog didn’t bite the cookie, she bit her hand! Linda jumped up, spilling her lemonade.<br /> <br /> She screamed, “I thought you said, your dog didn’t bite.”<br /> <br /> The old woman looked at Linda and then at the dog. Then she said,<br /> <br /> “THAT’S NOT MY DOG!”</b><o:p></o:p></span></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="background: #E2EFD9; border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-background-themecolor: accent6; mso-background-themetint: 51; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <span style="color: #538135; font-size: 13.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-themecolor: accent6; mso-themeshade: 191;">Nasreddin Hoca's Jokes<b><o:p></o:p></b></span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <b><span style="color: #538135; font-size: 13.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-themecolor: accent6; mso-themeshade: 191;">Nasrettin Hodja's donkey was stolen. In stead of consolling, his neighbours were blaming him saying.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <b><span style="color: #538135; font-size: 13.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-themecolor: accent6; mso-themeshade: 191;">"You should have locked the shed,"<o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <b><span style="color: #538135; font-size: 13.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-themecolor: accent6; mso-themeshade: 191;">"Didn't you hear any noises?"<o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <b><span style="color: #538135; font-size: 13.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-themecolor: accent6; mso-themeshade: 191;">"You should have tied the donkey securely."<o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <b><span style="color: #538135; font-size: 13.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-themecolor: accent6; mso-themeshade: 191;">Nasrettin Hodja listened patiently, for awhile and finnaly said,<o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <b><span style="color: #538135; font-size: 13.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-themecolor: accent6; mso-themeshade: 191;">"Well, you are putting all the blame on me. Do you think the thief was innocent?"<o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">Tuesday Namaz<b>Hodja dress up his frock and ride Karakaçan. In his way one of his collegue’s asks:<o:p></o:p></b></span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <b><span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">Where are you going Hodja?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <b><span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">I am going to Friday Namaz.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <b><span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">How can you do that, today is Tuesday?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <b><span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">HOdja shows Karakaçan and says:<o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <b><span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">I never know my faihtful Karakaçan’s way, we can hardly catch it on friday.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="background: #E2EFD9; border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-background-themecolor: accent6; mso-background-themetint: 51; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <span style="color: #538135; font-size: 13.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-themecolor: accent6; mso-themeshade: 191;">How Far<b>Hodja was running as fast and shouting as loud as he could. Somebody saw him and thought something had happened to him. So, he ran up to Nasrettin Hodja and asked,<o:p></o:p></b></span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <b><span style="color: #538135; font-size: 13.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-themecolor: accent6; mso-themeshade: 191;">"What happened, Hodja?"<o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <b><span style="color: #538135; font-size: 13.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-themecolor: accent6; mso-themeshade: 191;">Nasreddin Hodja kept on running and said,<o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <b><span style="color: #538135; font-size: 13.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-themecolor: accent6; mso-themeshade: 191;">"I wondered how far my voice travels. So, I am running after it."<o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <br /></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <span style="color: #538135; font-size: 13.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-themecolor: accent6; mso-themeshade: 191;">Nasreddin Hodja - Earth's Balance<b>They asked Hodja,<o:p></o:p></b></span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <b><span style="color: #538135; font-size: 13.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-themecolor: accent6; mso-themeshade: 191;">"Sir,in the morning some people go this way and some go the opposite way. Why?"<o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <b><span style="color: #538135; font-size: 13.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-themecolor: accent6; mso-themeshade: 191;">Hodja answered,<o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <b><span style="color: #538135; font-size: 13.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-themecolor: accent6; mso-themeshade: 191;">"If they went in the same direction, the Earth would loose its balance and toople."<o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="background: #E2EFD9; border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-background-themecolor: accent6; mso-background-themetint: 51; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">EXPENSİVE BİRDS<b>Nasreddin Hodja approached to a crowd gathered around a man in the market of Aksehir. The man was trying to sell his own bird and its price was too high, 50 Akce (Akce=old Turkish gold coin). On the other side, one chicken was for 5 Akce. The Hodja couldn’t get the much difference in the prices and asks;<o:p></o:p></b></span></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <b><span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">-My fellow countryman, what kind of bird is it you want 50 Akce?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <b><span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">-Hodja Effendi, this one is not a kind of bird that you know, this has special property.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <b><span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">-What is its speciality?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <b><span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">-My Hodja, this bird is called parrot and speaks.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <b><span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">The Hodja suddenly runs home, takes his turkey from the coop, and comes back to the market. He stays near the man selling the parrot and loudly;<o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <b><span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">-This bird you see is only for 100 Akce, come, comeee!<o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <b><span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">The most surprised man in the crowd was the seller of the parrot and he asks;<o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <b><span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">-My Hodja, isn’t 100 Akce too high for a turkey?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <b><span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">-But you are selling yours for 50 Akce, replies Hodja.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <b><span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">-But mine speaks as I said before<o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <b><span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">-So what, mine thinks!<o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin: 12pt 0cm 0.0001pt;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> </tbody></table>

Funny English Jokes -3

The Architect One Sunday, an architect visited Seoul, Korea. He was there for a conference but had all Sunday to explor...

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Funny English Jokes - 2

<table border="1" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="MsoTable15Grid6ColorfulAccent6" style="border-collapse: collapse; border: none; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-padding-alt: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-yfti-tbllook: 1184;"> <tbody> <tr> <td style="border-bottom: solid #A8D08D 1.5pt; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-bottom-alt: solid #A8D08D 1.5pt; mso-border-bottom-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-bottom-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-bottom-themetint: 153; mso-border-bottom-themetint: 153; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-yfti-cnfc: 5;"> <span style="color: #538135; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 13.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-themecolor: accent6; mso-themeshade: 191;">The Birthday Present<b><br /> A woman needed to buy her mother a birthday present. She didn’t know what to buy her mother. She only had one day to buy her mother something.<br /> <br /> So she went out window shopping. Soon enough, she walked by a pet store window. She thought to herself, “What a lovely idea for a present! My mother is so lonely and she needs a pet.”<br /> <br /> The woman went into the store and saw many wonderful animals. Puppy dogs, fluffy cats, gold fish, cute mice. But the woman didn’t think these were special enough. She asked the manager if he had a pet that was really special. The manager thought for a moment and replied,<br /> <br /> “Yes, but it costs a lot of money. $5,000”<br /> <br /> “I have a parrot that can speak 7 languages, Chinese, English, French, Korean, German, Russian and even Hindi!”<br /> <br /> The woman said, “Perfect” and bought the bird. She sent it by special delivery to her mother, so she would get it the next day.<br /> <br /> The next evening after work, the woman called her mother. She asked, “How do you like your birthday present.”<br /> <br /> Her mother replied, “Thank you, IT’S DELICIOUS!”<br /> <!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br /> <!--[endif]--></b></span><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="background: #E2EFD9; border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-background-themecolor: accent6; mso-background-themetint: 51; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <span style="color: #538135; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 13.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-themecolor: accent6; mso-themeshade: 191;">It is the butcher !!<b><br /> An old woman was lonely. She decided to get a pet. She didn’t have much money so she went to a second hand pet shop. <o:p></o:p></b></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <b><span style="color: #538135; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 13.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-themecolor: accent6; mso-themeshade: 191;"><br /> She saw many animals: a three legged cat, a dog without a tail, fish that could only swim backwards and a beautiful bird that could only say one thing, “Who is it?”. She decided to buy the bird. She bought a cage for her bird and went home. She put the bird by the door and went downtown to do some shopping.<br /> <br /> While she was gone, a man knocked on the door.<br /> <br /> “Who is it?” replied the parrot.<br /> <br /> “It’s the butcher,” he said.<br /> <br /> “Who is it?”, repeated the bird.<br /> <br /> “It’s the butcher,” said the man.<br /> <br /> “Who is it?” asked the parrot.<br /> <br /> “It’s the butcher!!,”, said the man angrily.<br /> <br /> “Who is it?” “It’s the butcher!!!!”, he screamed.<br /> <br /> “Who is it?” “It’s the butcher, the butcher, the butch...”<br /> <br /> Suddenly the butcher fell to the floor. He had had a heart attack.<br /> <br /> Later that day, the old woman came home and found the man laying on her doorstep. She opened her door and asked the parrot, “Who is it?” . The parrot replied,<br /> <br /> “It’s the butcher!”<br /> <!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br /> <!--[endif]--></span></b><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <span style="color: #538135; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 13.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-themecolor: accent6; mso-themeshade: 191;">Onions and Garlics<b><br /> Long ago there lived two brothers. Joshua and Eli. They lived on a farm and were very poor. Joshua worked hard ever day. Eli was lazy and didn’t like towork. One day, Joshua heard of a kingdom far away. This kingdom didn’t have onions! Hmmmm, thought Joshua. If I could sell them onions, they’d pay a lot of money! He asked to see the king and was granted an audience. Joshua told the king about the onions and the king was curious. He invited Joshua to make a big feast with many dishes prepared with onions.<br /> <br /> That evening, the king and his guests tasted the dishes. Everyone agreed, the onion made everything taste so much better! The king smiled from ear to ear. He said to Joshua, “Theseonions are the most precious thing in my kingdom. In return for them, I will give you their equal weight in the most precious thing I have – diamonds.” Joshua was instantly rich and returned to his village with a wagon full of diamonds.<br /> <br /> Joshua shared his wealth but his brother Eli was still very jealous. He asked Joshua if this kingdom has garlic. Joshua thought and said, “In fact, they don’t have any garlic.”<br /> <br /> Hmmmm, thought Eli. If I could sell them garlic, I’d be very rich indeed. Garlic is much tastier than onions.<br /> <br /> Eli traveled to the kingdom as his brother had done. Just like Joshua, he got an audience with the king and made a feast. And just like Joshua, the king declared garlic the most precious thing in his kingdom. It was a big hit! The king said, “ I will give you their equal weight in the most precious thing in my kingdom.”<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><br /> <br /> Here you are – Onions!<br /> <!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br /> <!--[endif]--></b></span><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="background: #E2EFD9; border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-background-themecolor: accent6; mso-background-themetint: 51; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <span style="color: #538135; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 13.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-themecolor: accent6; mso-themeshade: 191;">The Lion<b><br /> One day a lion was walking through the jungle. He was young and very proud. He met a snake and said, “Who is the king of the jungle?”<br /> <br /> The snake said, “You are.” It did not make the lion angry and he smiled.<br /> <br /> Thirty metres later, he met a monkey and asked, “Monkey, Who is the king of the jungle?”<br /> <br /> The monkey said quickly, “You are.” The lion smiled and continued on his way.Next, the lion met a crocodile. He stopped and asked the crocodile, “Who is the king of the jungle?”<br /> <br /> The crocodile didn’t answer so the lion roared very loudly. “WHO IS THE KINGOF THE JUNGLE?” The crocodile answered quickly, “You are.” The lion was satisfied and said, “Next time, answer quickly or I will eat you!” Finally, the lion met an elephant. He stopped, looked angrily at the elephant and asked,<br /> <br /> “Elephant, who is king of the jungle?”<br /> <br /> The elephant picked up the lion with his trunk and dropped him to the ground. The elephant kicked the lion and then jumped on top of him. The lion was very surprised and hurt. He got up, shook the dirt off and shouted,<br /> <br /> “YOU DON’T HAVE TO GET ANGRY JUST BECAUSE YOU<br /> <br /> DON’T KNOW THE ANSWER!”<br /> <!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br /> <!--[endif]--></b></span><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <span style="color: #538135; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 13.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-themecolor: accent6; mso-themeshade: 191;">The Spy<b><br /> Nigel Cavendish was a famous British spy. For over 20 years he went on important missions andstole important secrets from countries all over the world. However, his luck ran out. One day, he was captured by the Russian government. The British government said they didn’t know anything about him. He was taken to court and sentenced to death by firing squad. On the day of his execution the weather was terrible.<br /> <br /> It was raining cats and dogs and there was a cold north wind blowing fiercely. The guards came to his prison cell and led him outside.<br /> <br /> They walked in the pouring, cold rain for almost half a kilometre. It was muddy, they were soaked andfreezing to death. They put Nigel up against the wall and lined up to shoot him. They asked him if he had any last words to say. Nigel said, “What horrible men you are – to bring me out to be shot on such a horrible day.”<br /> <br /> One soldier looked up at the dark sky and said,<br /> <br /> “I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE COMPLAINING ABOUT!<br /> <br /> WE HAVE TO WALK BACK!”<br /> <!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br /> <!--[endif]--></b></span><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="background: #E2EFD9; border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-background-themecolor: accent6; mso-background-themetint: 51; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <span style="color: #538135; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 13.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-themecolor: accent6; mso-themeshade: 191;">The Shopkeeper<b><br /> Once there was a Korean shopkeeper named Mr. Park. He lived in New York and had had a small corner store for 45 years. He worked very hard, 16 hours every day and he never took a holiday.<br /> <br /> One day, his daughter arrived at the store and found Mr. Park lying on the floor. He had had a heart attack! She called 911 and he was rushed to the hospital. He survived and was very weak, resting in the hospital. A day later he awoke and slowly looked around his hospital room.<br /> <br /> He asked in a weak voice, “Are you there, my dear wife?”<br /> <br /> “Yes,” she replied “I am here my dearest.”<br /> <br /> Mr. Park asked, “Are you here, my oldest son?”<br /> <br /> “Yes, I am here.” replied his oldest son.<br /> <br /> “Are you here, my daughter?” Mr. Park asked in a faint voice.<br /> <br /> “Yes, father, I am here.” the daughter replied with a tear in her eye.<br /> <br /> “Are you here, my youngest son?” asked Mr. Park.<br /> <br /> “Yes, papa. I am here by your side.” said the baby of the family.<br /> <br /> Suddenly Mr. Park’s eyes grew big and threw off the bed covers and jumped up, screaming,<br /> <br /> “SO THEN, WHO IS WATCHING THE STORE!”<br /> <!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br /> <!--[endif]--></b></span><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 12.0pt; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <span style="color: #538135; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 13.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-themecolor: accent6; mso-themeshade: 191;">The Lawyer and the Lexus<b><br /> A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues.<br /> <br /> As he got out, a truck passed too close and tore off the door on the driver's side. The lawyer immediately grabbed his cell phone, dialed 911, and within minutes a policeman pulled up.<br /> <br /> Before the officer had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically. His Lexus, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined no matter what the body shop did to it.<br /> <br /> When the lawyer finally wound down from his ranting and raving, the officershook his head in disgust and disbelief.<br /> <br /> "I can not believe how materialistic you lawyers are," the cop said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else."<br /> <br /> "How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.<br /> <br /> The cop replied, "Don't you know that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you."<br /> <br /> "My God!" screamed the lawyer. "My Rolex!"<br /> <!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br /> <!--[endif]--></b></span><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div> </td> </tr> </tbody></table>

Funny English Jokes - 2

The Birthday Present A woman needed to buy her mother a birthday present. She didn’t know what to buy her mother. She only ha...

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Love Messages-4

<div align="center"> <table border="1" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="MsoTable15Grid6ColorfulAccent6" style="border-collapse: collapse; border: none; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-padding-alt: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-yfti-tbllook: 1184;"> <tbody> <tr> <td style="border-bottom: solid #A8D08D 1.5pt; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-bottom-alt: solid #A8D08D 1.5pt; mso-border-bottom-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-bottom-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-bottom-themetint: 153; mso-border-bottom-themetint: 153; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 5;"> <b><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">All the power I may have,</span></i></b><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 5;"> <b><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">Fame and wealth too.</span></i></b><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 5;"> <b><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">But to really live my life,</span></i></b><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 5;"> <b><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">Just need a smile from you.</span></i></b><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 5;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="background: #E2EFD9; border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-background-themecolor: accent6; mso-background-themetint: 51; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <b><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">untill the stars stop shining, the earth stops spining, and untill your heart and my heart stops beating.. I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU, TILL THE VERY END!</span></i></b><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <b><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">No matter how far you are;</span></i></b><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <b><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">No matter how many miles the distance we’ve been apart;</span></i></b><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <b><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">Just keep in mind</span></i></b><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <b><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">You're still here in my heart!</span></i></b><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="background: #E2EFD9; border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-background-themecolor: accent6; mso-background-themetint: 51; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <b><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">U are far from me, but your presence is always here in my heart.</span></i></b><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <b><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">I may not come to see u but my message will reach you to say,</span></i></b><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <b><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">I LOVE YOU more than anybody in this whole wide world.</span></i></b><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <br /></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <b><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">A loving heart is always young and bloom A story about true love never dies and that says it all. Baby can’t sleep cause I am thinking of you! Hope you are thinking about me too! Hope your dreams are feeling well! Much of love and kisses to my angel! Be glad of life because it gives you the chance to play, to work, to love, and to look at the stars</span></i></b><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="background: #E2EFD9; border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-background-themecolor: accent6; mso-background-themetint: 51; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <br /></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <b><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">the richest of all</span></i></b><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <b><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">the happiest of all</span></i></b><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <b><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">the luckiest of all</span></i></b><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <b><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">the best of all</span></i></b><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <b><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">is of course me</span></i></b><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <b><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">why????</span></i></b><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <b><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">because i have you as my love forever</span></i></b><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <b><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">I'm sorry for making you feel worried about me,</span></i></b><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <b><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">when I FIRMLY believe you're not supposed to.</span></i></b><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="background: #E2EFD9; border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-background-themecolor: accent6; mso-background-themetint: 51; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <b><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">-<-@ A rose for you Because I love you</span></i></b><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <b><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T V W X Y Z oops! i miss "U" </span></i></b><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="background: #E2EFD9; border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-background-themecolor: accent6; mso-background-themetint: 51; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <b><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">A butterfly needs its wings ... a polar bear needs cold weather and I ... I need you!</span></i></b><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <b><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">A butterfly needs its wings ... an icebear needs cold weather and I ... I need you! </span></i></b><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="background: #E2EFD9; border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-background-themecolor: accent6; mso-background-themetint: 51; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <b><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">A day without your love is a day without life. </span></i></b><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <b><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">A dream costs nothing unless you want it to come true </span></i></b><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="background: #E2EFD9; border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-background-themecolor: accent6; mso-background-themetint: 51; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <b><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">A friend is always welcome ... Early in the morning or late at night. Time is of no importance ... When it concerns real friendship!! </span></i></b><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <b><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">A good movy can make you cry... so can onions. </span></i></b><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="background: #E2EFD9; border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-background-themecolor: accent6; mso-background-themetint: 51; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <b><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">A hug is the best mdicine, A hug from a loved one is the best medicine to heal your heart.</span></i></b><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <b><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">A kiss says it all And here’s one to say That I’m thinking of you. I will love you forever and always.</span></i></b><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="background: #E2EFD9; border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-background-themecolor: accent6; mso-background-themetint: 51; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <b><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">A kiss that tells it all is seldomly a first edition. </span></i></b><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <b><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">A ring is round, A well is deep & in ur arms i long to sleep & in your bed i long to lie no               else but u & i </span></i></b><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="background: #E2EFD9; border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-background-themecolor: accent6; mso-background-themetint: 51; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <b><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">a sweet little rabbit, just like you, because I love you!! kisses... </span></i></b><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <b><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart. </span></i></b><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="background: #E2EFD9; border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-background-themecolor: accent6; mso-background-themetint: 51; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <b><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to. </span></i></b><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <b><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you. </span></i></b><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="background: #E2EFD9; border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-background-themecolor: accent6; mso-background-themetint: 51; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <b><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">Even my bad days are good days since you're my boyfriend.</span></i></b><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <b><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">Even though we are apart, my love you will never part.</span></i></b><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="background: #E2EFD9; border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-background-themecolor: accent6; mso-background-themetint: 51; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <b><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">Even though we are far apart, my love for you will feed on the distance between us and only grow!</span></i></b><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <b><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">Every day I love you</span></i></b><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <b><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">Falling in love is when she falls asleep in your arms and wakes up in your dreams ! </span></i></b><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="background: #E2EFD9; border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-background-themecolor: accent6; mso-background-themetint: 51; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <b><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">Fate brought the both of us together. So naturally when you look at us, you will think we match each other. Coz we are make to be for each other. </span></i></b><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="background: #E2EFD9; border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-background-themecolor: accent6; mso-background-themetint: 51; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <b><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">Ferrari's are red, Lambo's are blue... but I am as happy in a mini with you. </span></i></b><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <b><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">Find someone special who makes you realize that home is not a place, but a feeling! Great people make great history and great lovers make great moments Here is a little story that I made up So Let's make believe I asked a wise man....Which is more important, TO LOVE or TOBE LOVED? He answered.....It is similar to the answer of the question : Which is more important to a bird; RIGHT WING or LEFT WING?</span></i></b><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="background: #E2EFD9; border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-background-themecolor: accent6; mso-background-themetint: 51; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <b><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">I love my eyes when you look into them. I love my name when you say it. I love my heart when you touch it. I love my life when you are in it.</span></i></b><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <b><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">I love my life because it gave me you. I love you because you are my life.</span></i></b><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="background: #E2EFD9; border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-background-themecolor: accent6; mso-background-themetint: 51; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <b><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">I hope that you finally understand, that I will love you until the end, because your not just my girl, you are also my best friend!</span></i></b><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">I got an x ray     day they found u in my heart. The doctor said if they took u out i would die bcoz i could not live with out u!</span></i><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="background: #E2EFD9; border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-background-themecolor: accent6; mso-background-themetint: 51; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">I love my eyes when U look into them, I love my name when U say it, I love my life when U are in it. </span></i><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">I love the 'y' i love the 'u' i love the 'o' put them together and i love 'you'.</span></i><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="background: #E2EFD9; border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-background-themecolor: accent6; mso-background-themetint: 51; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">I love three things: the sun, the moon and you, the sun for the day, the moon for the night and you forever. </span></i><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">I must have been born under a lucky star , to find a friend as nice as you are. I will follow the rainbow to the end , if you promise to remain my friend !!!</span></i><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="background: #E2EFD9; border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-background-themecolor: accent6; mso-background-themetint: 51; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">I miss you so, here around me, so many people, but yet so alone. I miss your lips, your lovely smile, I miss you each day more and more! </span></i><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">I never ever thought I'd like you this much and I never planned to have you on my mind this often. </span></i><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="background: #E2EFD9; border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-background-themecolor: accent6; mso-background-themetint: 51; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">I will love you like I was never been hurt before! I wish God gives me birth hundred times only to be your lover forever. I wish to die before you, so that I can write your name on each star. Let the world see you mean the world to me. I’ll day tonite no one can hold me I’ll make my world be the best place for my lovers</span></i><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">I may sound cheesy when I say I’ll love you forever, but those words help me describe the exact feelings I have for you!</span></i><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="background: #E2EFD9; border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-background-themecolor: accent6; mso-background-themetint: 51; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">I miss you ... I need you ... More and more .... each day ... I love you ... more than words ... can ever say </span></i><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">I don't know how I could have done that thing, when I love you like life itself. Please forgive me. </span></i><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="background: #E2EFD9; border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-background-themecolor: accent6; mso-background-themetint: 51; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">I do not think much, i do not think often, but when I think, I think of you! </span></i><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">I never forget a face, but for you I will make an exception. </span></i><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="background: #E2EFD9; border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-background-themecolor: accent6; mso-background-themetint: 51; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.</span></i><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">I love you! From the earth till the moon! </span></i><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 4;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="background: #E2EFD9; border-top: none; border: solid #A8D08D 1.0pt; mso-background-themecolor: accent6; mso-background-themetint: 51; mso-border-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-themetint: 153; mso-border-top-alt: solid #A8D08D .5pt; mso-border-top-themecolor: accent6; mso-border-top-themetint: 153; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;">I cant do with out you i will die I don't know who to trust no surprise;Everyone feels so far away from me I just wish that for one moment you could be me, and maybe, only then you’ll realize how much I love you. I lie and I lie and I lie till there's no turning back;I don't know why I love you all, unless you give me a reason not to! I love you more and more with each passing day I love you not only because of you,but also because who I am with you. I miss you more and more with each passing day I rout your name to my heart I Take the plan, spin it sideways. I fall without you, I'm Nothing. I tried so hard;And got so far;But in the end;It doesn't even matter I try to close my eyes because I might see you. I try to close my mouth because I might say your name. I try to close my ears because I might hear of you, but I can't close my heart because I can't forget you!! I want to hold your hand baby</span></i><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-yfti-cnfc: 68;"> <br /></div> </td> </tr> </tbody></table> </div>

Love Messages-4

All the power I may have, Fame and wealth too. But to really live my life, Just need a smile from you. untill...

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