Naughty Messages
Cleavage is like sun, You can look, but u cant stare, Unless you are wearing sunglasses. William: Why sperm donati...
Naughty Messages
Naughty Messages
Showing posts with label naughty messages. Show all posts
Showing posts with label naughty messages. Show all posts
06 January 2016
Naughty Messages
 Cleavage is like sun, You can look, but u cant stare, Unless you are wearing sunglasses. |
William: Why sperm donation is more expansive than blood donation?
John: Hand made things are always costly.
|
A women has 5 rooms:
Face is a showroom,
Breast is play room, Stomach is store room, Vagina is guest room, Ass is emergency room. |
Girl: hey Dad, whats better? pass or fail?
Dad: To pass. Girl: OH okay, Then BE PROUD OF ME! I PASSED THE PREGNANCY TEST. |
Molvi: Jo log ghalat kaam krty hn wo kahan jaty hn..
Lrka: Shehr k log hotel, or Gaon k log Khayt me.
|
Bank or Bara mian kya Similarity hy
. . . . . . . . . . Dono ma jitna Maal zyada, utna Interest zyada |
Chori
Uper se Seena Zoori
Ek din ek chor larki say uski chain chori ker kay bhaga
or jatay jatay us kay balls bhi daba gaya.
Us din say yeh muhawara ban gaya
Ek tau chori upar say seena zoori
|
Wife: Plz zara yeh bara ka hook laga dijiaye.
Husband: I will charge four kisses.
Wife: Rahnay do, padosi Say free mein lagva leti hoon,
wo haath daal ker Set b ker dengay.
|
Yaaro Masoomiat per uski ma
mar kiyon naa jaon
Seene say lipat kay puchti hy
Yeh neechay kiya chubh raha hy ?
|
A million dollar advce 2 Boys:S
Before makng any promise 2 a girl,
Mastrbate twice it may chnge ur opinion
|
Always start ur day with a lot of the … S E X
S – SMILE E – ENERGY X – XCITEMENT so make S E X a daily habit, & you alwayz BE SUCC SEX FUL! in the LIFE. |
What is an average six inch long
Inside a guy’s pants & girls love 2 blow it up? ? ? ? ? A:1000- rupee currency note.! Alwayz think positive |
Come here,
take off ur pents & knickers, get on top of me, enjoy until you get satisfied, loving urs….. toilet! |
Last nite i went to bed without you…cold,naked…
Lastnite i went to bed without you..
cold,naked,thinking of you, missing your warmth, your soft touch against my skin. Where were you “lastnite” |
Sardar on the phone:
Doctor my wife is pergnant.She is having so pain right now.
Doctor: Is this her 1st child?
Sardar: No this is her husband speaking
|
A Sardar was working…
. for the 1st time in a garment shop… . . . A customer girl asked: . . Underwear dikhana plz… . . .
Sardar thora sharmakar: ..
. . G aaj pehna nahiN hai .. lolx hahahahhahahaha |
Son saw parents having Sex.
Son ; hey Dad whats up?
Dad ; Teri Maa mein Petrol bhar raha hun.
Son ; Mom ki average check karein, Din mein
Uncle bhi Tank full kr k gaye hain…:-p
|
Can we do romance …
.
in the midnight today???
.
.
PLeasee..
.
I’m in a good mood .
.
Just a little bit …
.
of kissing and biting…
.
.
Reply me soon..
.
..
.
.
.
.
.
yours Loving Mosquito! lolx Apki soch ko 21 topo ki salamiii.. |
DOCTOR kehty hain…
. BAchEy 2 he Achey… .
Doctor To a Lady:
WAisEy ApKe kitnE BAchey hAin??
. .
LADY: PehLeY tuo 2 he thAy…
.
LeKiN JAbSey IshtehAr dekhA hy tou..
. . Achey ki TALAsh mEi 11 hogAyE hey… |
TEACHeR 2 a girl:Who created the earth???
. . (Boy pokes the girl’s back with a pen) . .
GIRL: Oh God!
. . TEACHeR:G00d. Correct ans!! . . TEACHR:Who was BORN on 25 dec??? . . ……(Boy pokes her again) . . Girl: Oh Jesus!! . . TEACHeR:Very G00d. Correct ans! . . TEACHeR:What did eve tell adam when dey had their 17th baby??? . . (Boy pokes her back again) . . Girl: If u d0n’t stop inserting .. . that thing in2 me nw..
.
I’ll break dat into 2 pieces….
Teacher faintd!!
|
A Girl enters the class ..
.
with her new sandal..
… … … Boys: Chappal achhe hai.. Wah wah … … … …
…
Girl: NikalOOn kya??? … … … … … … Then all the Boys (ek sath): … … … … … Lo kar lo baat… .. … … … Dress to aur bhi achi hai….!!! lolx |
A couple went 2 an Art Gallery.
There was a picture of a girl covered only by leaves.. Typical Husband was staring at the picture. . . . . . . Wife: Ghar abhi chaloge, ya hawa aane tak rukogey? hahahahahahahaha |
Mental Hospital Mey..
Nurse Ek Patient (Pagal) Sey:-
.
Mera Dupatta Utaro…
.
Pagal: Ok !
.
Nurse: Ab Meri Kameez Bhi Utaro…
.
Pagal: Ok !
.
Nurse: Ab Meri Salwar Bhi Utaro???
.
.
Pagal- Ok !!!
.
.
Nurse: Ab Meri Bra r Panty Bhi…
.
.
.
.
.
AOr Dhyaan Rahe…
.
Aainda Kabhi MereY Kapry NahiN Pehanna..!!
.
Aaj Fir Aapki Soch Ko 21 Topo Ki Salaami |
Lady milk bechny Walay Se Bhai
Aaj Kal Doodh Boht Patla Aa raha Hay?
milk bechny wala: BiBi g Mujhay Q Bata Rahi Hai,
Kisi DoctOr ko Dikhao..
|
sadia ko dieting ka shoOOq huwa, ami ley ayin SUFI.
SUFI sahib pey aitmad jo tha..
Subah huwi to na SUFI tha na Sadia.
Buhot talash kiya kuch pata na chaala.
Phir eik KISAAN ney bataya wo KASHMIR mey hain.
Or Man Pasand life guzar rahey hain.
5 saal bad Hina wapis aai to 7 me khan
Shaan or tipu sultan bhi they.
Lo kar lOOo SUFI g per aitmaad…!!
|
wedding k dosri din saheli ney dulhan sey pocha
Saheli: Kal Raat Ko Terey 7 Kya Huwa?
Dulhan: Kuch Nahi Huwa
Saheli: Arey Bata Na, Sharma Kyu Rahi Hai
Dulhan: Pehle Unhone Meri Chunni Utar Kar Killi Par Tangi,
Phir Meri Kameej Or Salwar Utar Kar Killi Par Tangi
Saheli: Phir Kya Huwa?
Dulhan: Phir Killi Tut Gai… R…
Saheli: Or Kiya?
Dulhan: Or Woh Salla Subha Tak Killi Thokta Raha.
|
Two Lovers were fighting..
. . GF: Kaminey!! mein tmharey kaprey phaar dOOngi. … . . . . BF: Dekh ab tou serious larai main romantic bat mat kar..!! lol |
Dukndaar: Iss Borri Pay Maat Bathnaa
Anday Toot Jayeen Gay Gahaak: Iss Mein ANdy Hain? Dukndar: Nahee Keel Hain. |
1st Srdar:Yar Yeah Joray Kahan Bantaay Hein?
2nd Srdar:Aasman Par 1st Sardar: Abaay Shit Yar 2nd Sardar: Kia Hua? 1st Sardar: Mein Toh Darzi Ko Day Aaya. |
3 Wajha Sy Insan Janat May Dakhil Nah Huga
1: Shirk Karnay Wala 2: Salam May Pehaal Naa Karnay Wala 3: Cycle Py Mohar Laganay Wala Apni Akhraat Sanwaro AOr Serf Per Mohaar Lagaow. |
A Sweet Poem 4u
Eat With Butter Cut With Cutter When U 4rget Me U Will Definitely Fall In Gutter Dharaaaam. |
Aakhir-Kaar Mohtarmaa Nay Marnay Kay Baad
Doctor Ki Degree Mbbs Haasil Kaar Hi Li Mbbs M- Mohtarma B- Benazir Be- Bhutto S- Shaheed |
Dunya Mei 3 Gham Buhat Hi Burey Hotay
Hein 1 Kisi Apni Say Duri Kah Gham 2 Kuch Khonay Kah Ghaam Aor Aor 3 Balghaam. |
Aik Pathan Road Sey Guzar Raha Tha
Tu Usney Jhuk Kar Road Sey Kuch Uthaya Aur Zor Sey Chillaya Zalil Loag Tatti Bhi Aisi Kartay Hainn Jesey Koi Samoxa Paraa Hou. |
Agar Free Ho To Nichay Prexx Kero
* ! * ! * ! * ! *
Agar Abhe Bhe Free Ho To Upar Press Karo.
|
1 Mulla Ki Shaadi Nhi Ho Rahi Thi
Wo Mannat Mangne Gya
Waha Uski Maa Gum Gayi Mulla Bola: Yaa Khudaa Teri Khudaai Apni Taay Labbi Naai Abbay De Ve Gawai. |
*2013**
‘LIGHT!
Roz 2 Ghantay Kay Liye Jaye Gi
!!**2014**!!
LIGHT
Rooz 2 Ghantay K Liye AYE Gi!
*FARAQ TO PARTA HAI*
Her Qadam Khushhali Ki Janib
|
Girl To Another Girl
U R So Beautiful other Girl: – Thank U U R Beautiful To Now Boy To Another Boy U R Looking HaNdsome other Boy:- Dyo Fhir Pen Da Rixhta. |
Sardar: – Bachpan Vixch Maah
Di Gal Suni Hundi Teh Ajj A Din Nah Vekhnaa Painda Wakeel: – Keya Kehti The Tere Maa Sardar: – Anni Dya Jadon Suni Nae Te Fir Dasaan |
Beautiful Quote On Anger: If U R Right Then
Thr Ix No Need To Get Angry & If U R Wrong Then U Dont Have Any Rig8 To Be Angry”. |
Larkiyaqn Aapas Men Galy Milty Waqt Kya
Sochti Hen.? * ! * ! * ! *Ix K To Mujh Se B Zyada ?Barry? Ho Gye Hein * ! * !Pata Nai Kansaa Shampoo Use Karti Hay ?Baalon? Pay * ! * O Hath Jorrtaa Huon Tery Aagy Sudhar Ja Kbi Toh Acha Soch Leya Kr |
Nursery Class Ka Bacha Aor Bachi Teacher Say
Miss Kya Chotey Bachon Kay Bachey Ho Sakty Hyn Teacher: – No Bacha Bachi Sey:- Dekha Tm Aisy He Darr Rhi Thi. |
Son:- Abbu Je Mein Nay Suna
Hy K Maa Baap Ko Dekhne Sey Sawaab Milta Ha hai Father: – Jis Tarah Tuh Chup Chup K Dekhtaa Hy Kameene Uss Tarhan Dekhney Sey Gunah Milta Hay. |
Question:-
Bevy Key Jism Mey Woh Konsi Cheez Hay Jise Woh Dabane Nahi Deti Aur Adme Subah o Sham Dabanaa Chahta Hay Bolo Socho Ansr:-Uska Gala. |
Man Ix A Simple Animal
His Daily Needx R Juzt * ! * ! Rossy & Roti. |
2oday Sunny Leone Went To Usa
Milk Price Increaxed By Rs. 3
*
! * ! * ! * ! * ! * ! * ! * ! * Hasna Mat Kamino Dono Alag Alag News Hai. |
Ball Tampering The Moxt Favorite Part Time
Activity Of Men Xpecially In Summerx * ! * Pogo Plzzzzxxx. |
Kafi Time Lagta Hai Ek ShRef BNde Ko Girlfrnd Patane Me
* ! * ! * ! * ! * ! * Pher Agaar Paat Jaye Toh Kixi Ka Baap Bhi Use 2obara ShaReef Nahi Bana Xaakta. |
What Did Summer Say To xpring?
Help! I’m Going To Fall
I Need A Girlfrnd So Bad.
|
Single Larka Hamexha Khuxh Rehta
Hai
Ek Nazar Boyfriend Ki Life :
‘Gf’ Ka Har Status Like Krna Or Comment
Krna Compulxory Na Kro Toh Sunoh
Doxto Ke Sath Ghumo To Suno
Female Friend Se Baat Karna To Suno
Unki Tareef Nah Kero To Suno
Khud Galti KRnge Or Sorry V Humsay
He Bulwati Hai Puchne Par Rote Hue Kehti Hai Mujhe Nai Pata Bas Sorry Bulaa
Sabse Bada Ek Call Pic Na Kar Paao Toh Unkaa Jaawab
Tumhe To Mujhsaay Peyaar He Nahi Abb Toh
Main Bore Lagti Hou Naah I Hate U Mujxay Baat Maaat Karnah Huh. |
Wife: Har Hafte Weekend Pay
Tum Fishing Karnay Jate Hou Nah?
HusbNd: Haan Tou?
Wife: Ajj Woh Machhli Ghar Aayi Thi
Keh Rahi Thi Woh Maa Ban’ne Wali Hai.
|
B0y: Tm Gana B0h0t Acha Gate H0
Girl: Thanx But I Am Just Bathr00m Singer B0y: T0 Bula0 Na Kabi Apne Live C0ncert Pay. |
B0y: Tm Gana B0h0t Acha Gati H0
Girl: Thanx But I Am Just Bathr00m Singer B0y: T0 Bula0 Na Kabi Apne Live C0ncert Pay. |
What Is The Difference Between
Dava Medicine Nd Daru Ans: Dava Is Like Girlfriend That C0mes With Expiry Date Daru Is Like Wife Jitni Purani H0gi Utna Sir Chad Ke B0legi. |
In Chemistry Class Teacher
Asked A Gal What R Nitrates Gal Answered Shyly: Night Rates They Are C0stlier Than Day. |
D0 U Kn0w Why A Sardarni
Kept The D00r 0pen While Taking A Bath Because She Was Scared That S0me0ne Might See Thr0ugh The Key H0le. |
A Cute Nurse Came
F0r The Interview Dr: What Salary U Expect Nurse: Rs10000 Dr Was 0verj0yed Nd Said: My Pleasure Nurse: With Pleasure Its 25000. |
Sardar: – Bachpan Vich Maah
Di Gal Suni H0ndi Teh Ajj A Din Nah Vekhna Painda Wakeel: – Keya Kehti The Tere Maa Sardar: – Anni Dya Jad0n Suni Nae Te Fir Dasaan Ke. |
S0n:- Abbu Je Mein Ny Suna
Hy K Maa Baap K0 Dekhne Sey Sawab Milta Ha Father: – Jis Tarah Tuh chup Chup K Dekhta Hy Kameene Uss Tarhan Dekhney Sey Gunah Milta Hay. |
Questi0n:-
Bevy key Jism mey W0H k0nsi Cheez hay Jise w0h Dabane nahi deti aur adme Subah 0 Sham dabana chahta hay B0l0 s0ch0 Ansr:-Uska GALA. |
Nursery class ka bacha 0r bachi teacher sey
Miss kya ch0tey bach0n k bachey h0 sakty hyn Teacher: – N0 Bacha Bachi sey:- Dekha tm aisy he darr rhi thi. |
Girl T0 An0ther Girl
U Are S0 Beautiful 0ther Girl: – Thank U U Are Beautiful T0 N0w B0y T0 An0ther B0y U Are L00king Hands0me 0ther B0y:- Dy0 Fhir Pen Da RISHTA. |
Teacher:BataOo,JoH Log
Ghalat Kaam Karte Hain, Wo Kahaan Jatay Hain? Larki Sharmatey Huay: Sir,Shehr K Log Hotel Mein, Aur Ga0n Ka Loag Kammaad Mein Jate Hain |
Breaking News: Imran KhaN
Ny Veena Malik KOH PTI Join Karne Ki Dawaat Day Di q Kay,
.
.
.
.
.
.
Veena Malik Ny Apne TamMam
Asasay ZahiR Kr Dy Hain. |
GirL: Are you free..? Let’s hang out tonight..
BoY: I can’t.. I m hanging out with someone else..
Girl: Who..??
… Boy: The most beautiful, special, amazing girl in the world?
Girl: Oh…GOOd bye !!!
(6 minutes later the door Bell rings)
Girl: Why are u here?
Boy: I already told you, I was coming over. ?
|
Larki Date Per Thi
Ami Ne Dekh Liya Ami Ny Call Ki: Beti KaHan Ho? Beti Paper Dene Ayi Hun Ammi Zara DhyaaN Se,Iss Paper Ka Result Aya To Jaaan Say Mar Dohngi. |
02 December 2015
Naughty Messages
Girl:Its
too tight,
Boy:Dont
worry,I’ll do it slowly,
Girl:Push
it in,
Boy:Ah..I
cant,
Girl:Its
painful,
Boy:Forget
it and buy
new WEDDING RING!
|
Boy: what
is that you keep in your mouth which is 6" long and move it in and out and
wait for a white substance to come out?
Girl: do
you ask such question to me i cant tell such words,
Boy:don’t
worry it is tooth brush.
|
A beautiful
girl goes to Professor cabin and say that "i will do anything to pass in the
exams" and professor says :
"NOW OPEN
YOUR Books And Study"
|
He came
at night, explored my body, got on top of me, touched me, he bit, sucked,
swalowed, when he was satisfyed, he left, i was hurt,
BLOODY... MOSQUITO !!!! |
I really
deeply wish dat you are here with me in my room on my bed & lights is off
& we get under the cover together..
to show you my glow in the dark watch. |
It's the
thing that satisfies your mind, body & soul!
Do it on
bed, on a sofa, in the car or anywhere!
It's
called Prayer!
God bless your naughty mind. |
Two men called a callgirl.
1st went in and came out and said
" my wife is better than she."
2nd went in and came out and said
"You are right your wife is much better ." |
Catch
her by her waist... Bring her home..
Keep your hand on her neck, Put your lips on her lips & have a nice drink “PEPSI” |
3
FEELINGS
What is the diference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, Panic is when both are pregnant |
NURSE
kept NAMIK’S FINGER in HER MOUTH after BLOOD TEST.
THEN SARDAR STARTED DANCING . NURSE: why aru you DANCING. NAMIK:next is URINE TEST |
Love is
a gamble,
Sex is a
game,
Boyz do
the thing,
Girls
get the blame,
One night in pleasure, 9 months of pain, 1 day in hospital and a junior needs a name!.. |
A girl
phoned me the other day and said ...
"Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home |
NAMIK on
phone:
Doctor
my wife is pergnant.She is having pain right now.
Doctor:
Is this her first child?
NAMIK:
No this is her husband speaking.
|
Last night
i went to bed without you.. cold, naked, thinking of you, missing your
warmth, your soft touch against my skin.
Where were you "last night? |
Come
here, take off your pants and knickers, get on top of me, enjoy until you get
satisfied, loving yours
toilet! |
What's
an average 6 inch long
Inside a guy's pants and girls love to blow it up?
A:1000 $ currency note.!
Always think positive |
Always
start your day with a lot of... S E X
S - SMILE E - ENERGY X - XCITEMENT so make S E X a daily habit, and you will always BE SUCC SEX FUL! in LIFE. |
In a
bath room, a boy touches a girl everywhere!
You Know whose that boy? Stupid It's Lifeboy Soap! Dirty people always think dirty. |
I want
to suck you lick, you wanna move my tongue all over, you wanna feel you in my
mouth yep, that's how you eat an ice cream!
|
A young
girl after her honeymoon came fully exhausted and tired,
When her
friends asked her what happened?
She
replied :
When this 70 year old bastard told me he has saved a lot from last 50 years,
"I
thought It was MONEY"
|
NAMIK
sent SMS to his BOSS:
"Me sick, no work" Boss SMS back: "When I am sick I kiss my wife try it" 2 hours later sardar sms to boss: "Me ok, your wife very sweet" |
What is
the perfect example of both Good & Bad Luck?
The
naughty wind blows the girl's skirt high (Good luck)
But at
the same time, Dust falls into the boy's eyes (Bad luck)
|
Most
interesting line written on the front of T-shirt of a girl,
Excuse
me ! My face is above.;-)
|
Boy and
girl of class asked teacher:
"can kids of our age have kids?"
Teacher
replied " NO Never!!"
Boy said
to girl : "see i told you not to worry!!!!".
|
A man
while making love to his maid, exclaimed '
"you are sweeter than my
wife'"
The maid
smiled and said 'i know 'cos the driver always tells me so'
|
Can we
do romance in the midnight today?
I'm in a good mood:) Just a little bit of kissing and biting!! Reply me soon, yours Loving Mosquito. |
Let me
kiss your lips,
let me feel your teeth, let me feel your tongue. SMILE! This is your friend "Colgate" reminding you to brush your teeth, Twice a day Everyday :) |
A couple
had a fight one night.
When
going to bed,
Husband
says: “good night mother of my 3 children.
Wife replied:
“good night father of none.”
|
Last night
I went to bed without you.
Missing your
warmth, your soft touch against my skin. Wher were you last night? My blanket.
|
When an APPLE
becomes red,
It is
ready to eat,
When a
girl becomes 18 she is ready to VOTE
|
Man came
home, saw his wife with his friend in bed.
He shoots
his friend.
Wife says,
if you behave like this, you will lose all your friends.
|
Mother,
to her teenage daughter,
I think
its right time, we should talk about sex.
Daughter:sure
mom, what do you want to know?
|
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