02 January 2016

Funny Retirement Wishes

    Retirement is the beginning of the time when you can sit back and give advice to others, even though you never followed it in your own life. Congratulations.

    Old age, fragile bones, doctor visits, medical checkups and a weak bladder – are you still looking forward to retirement? Congratulations.

    The funny thing about retirement is that it makes you realize the importance of medical insurance.

    Do you think that life after retirement is an adventure? Well, it is if you count trekking out of bed, climbing atop sofas and diving into takeaways. Have fun.

    After retirement the body grows older, the heart grows fonder and the mind becomes younger. All the best at trying to handle an old body with a young mind and fond heart.

    Retirement is the only thing that will make you realize how you wasted all these years trying to be mature when you can get back to being a child at the end of it all. Have fun.

     Remember all those things that you wanted to do in your life, but didn’t because you never had the time? Don’t plan on doing them after your retirement either – you will either be too old or too poor to afford them now. Wish you a happy retirement.

     Congratulations on your retirement but don’t get too eager to relax yet. Get ready to tire yourself out with grandkids, gardening and many other chores.

       Retirement is just a nice way for the company to tell you that they have found more energetic, talented, youthful and skilled staff than you. Happy retirement.

     Thankfully, retirement is mandatory and not an option. Otherwise I would be stuck with an annoying colleague like you. xoxo

     No matter how many college degrees, skill development courses and professional accreditations you have received, there is one more qualification you will still receive after your retirement – Master of Doing Nothing. Congratulations.

     For someone as lazy as you, retirement will make no difference in your life except the fact that you can now do nothing, officially. Congratulations.

     Some people say that retirement signifies the end of all of life’s tension, but that’s true only if you have a grand pension.

     Most people spend their whole lives planning their retirement but when they actually retire, they don’t know what to do. Don’t let this happen to you.

     Congratulations for your retirement. Now you will be forced to work on a never-ending project that will take up all your time and it’s called – Doing Nothing.

     Retirement is like a lifelong vacation, except that you are no longer fit to do most of the fun stuff. Congratulations.

     All your life you sacrificed your health so you could earn more money to retire happily. Now you’ll realize that you’ll be spending all the money to keep up your health. Congratulations.

      Reaching retirement age is like getting to the top of a cliff. You will be at the zenith of your career, well knowing that the next step is a downward plunge toward old age. Good luck.

       Retirement is like a never-ending weekend party except that you can’t drink, can’t hook up and can’t stay up all night even if you want to. So in short, it is boring. Congratulations.

     Until now, when you slacked at work your boss shouted at you. Now when you slack at household chores, your wife will shout at you. Happy retirement.

      Doing the things you always wanted to do is not the real challenge of retirement. Remembering them is the real challenge. Good luck at being a forgetful pensioner.

     Retirement is just a nice way for your company to say that you are getting too old to work. Congratulations for stepping into this league, old timer.

    Congratulations for gaining two new best friends upon your retirement. Their names are Bed and Couch. You will be hanging out with them a lot.

     Was working hard all your life worth it? You are about to realize that now. Congratulations on retiring.

     All these years you argued with your colleagues, juniors, managers and your boss at work. After retirement, you will argue with your grandkids, children and wife at home. Life remains the same.

     It doesn’t matter whether you behave like a grumpy retiree or not, because people are going to assume that anyways. Good luck dealing with that.

       Health, family, friends and relationships are some of the things that you sacrificed in your life so that you could work harder and earn more money. Now you will realize that you need these things to enjoy retirement. Such is the irony of life.

      Retirement is the turning point in your life which makes you realize that you had your priorities messed up all this while. Congratulations, better late than never.

      Consider yourself officially and truly retired on the day you don’t feel like changing your underwear. Good luck.

     Retirement marks the transition from working under one boss to a new one called WIFE. Congratulations.

     Retirement – the only real excuse you’ll ever have to spend your entire life’s savings. Have fun.

     Retirement is said to be the slow and painful lead up to the sunset years of your life. Have fun old timer.

     Retirement is a fence – on one side lies hard work and on the other lies boredom. Either ways, it’s no fun.

     Retirement is like a bubble that burst just when you think you are at the zenith of your career. Good luck buddy.

     Retirement is the company way of indirectly telling you that it has no more use of an old and lazy bum like you. Goodbye.

     Retirement is life’s way of telling you that you are too old and too weak to work any longer. Congratulations.

      Being retired is the only time in your life when you won’t mind if you don’t get a holiday. Have fun.

      Every day of your retired life will feel like a happy Friday night. But it’s useless because being old will make you feel dull like Monday morning all the time. Happy retirement.

     You always cursed your body when you were ill which made you miss an important deadline at work. Retirement is when you will finally curse yourself for using an important deadline at work as an excuse for not taking care of your body all these years.

       Congratulations on retiring. Have fun watching your life’s savings dwindle out.

Bon Voyage Messages-SMS

    Life is a journey. Don’t imprison yourself in a rut. Break free and travel. Wander as if you’re lost. It’s the only way to discover yourself. Bon voyage.

    Life isn’t meant to be lived caged within walls and mindsets. The only way to break free from the shackles of monotony is to travel. Bon voyage.

    Traveling is an expense which yields great returns in the form of priceless memories and enlightening experiences. Bon voyage.

       Open your senses, feed your soul. Be carefree and let wanderlust take control. Bon voyage.

    Traveling isn’t only about hopping to different places and new cities. It’s also about soaking in new cultures and faces. Bon voyage.

     You will never understand the true meaning of your life, until you travel and experience how others are living theirs. Bon voyage.

     Wanderlust isn’t about running away. It’s about experiencing the outside to discover what’s inside. Goodbye my friend, bon voyage.

      This beautiful world is God’s handmade collage… and for your travels I wish you bon voyage.

    Get lost, run out of money and do crazy things – these are the memories from your travels that will last a lifetime. Bon voyage.

      The secret to really enjoying a holiday lies in switching off your cell phone and staying away from Facebook, Email, Twitter and Instagram. Bon voyage.

    Traveling is less about selfies, more about memories. Bon voyage.

    I’ll miss you until you come back but I hope you’ll make up for it by getting me awesome gifts. Bon voyage.

     Don’t worry about souvenirs… fill your bags with experiences and memories when you return. Bon voyage.

     The wings of your airplane may be big, but the ones of your mind are bigger. Bon voyage.

     Travel as if your life depends on it. Because decades later, the happiness in your life will actually depend on reflecting on the memories that you make today. Bon voyage.

     Beautiful and rare sights in this world are many, but beautiful travelers like you are few. Bon voyage sweetheart.

     The memories of traveling form some of the most fascinating chapters in your life’ book. Bon voyage.

     Some people say traveling makes you wise. Some people say traveling makes you humble. I say, don’t think and just travel. Bon voyage.

     Sometimes, wandering and traveling aimlessly helps you introspect and zero in on your life’s real aims. Bon voyage.

     May your travels cure the biggest worries of your life, I wish a happy journey to you and your wife. Bon voyage.

       No matter how important a business trip, it always begins with a hug from someone who cares about you. Bon voyage, xoxo.

     Life is only half lived if you have never got in a car and driven off on the open road. Bon voyage and have an awesome road trip.

      Life is not about the number of destinations you have seen, but the number of journeys you have experienced. Bon voyage.

     Discover, find, seek, search, rummage, explore, visit, unearth – if you like the sound of these words, I bet you will enjoy your holiday. Bon voyage.

     Like your own life, may this journey be full of surprises and fun. Bon voyage.

     As you pack your bags and leave for your holiday, I hope that you never get lost along the way. Bon voyage.

      May you discover beautiful things, as you fly across the world on a plane with wings. May you have experiences that change your thinking, as you trot across to far of lands while traveling. Bon voyage.

     I wish I was your GoPro – then I would travel the world with you. Bon voyage.

     Losing yourself in new surroundings is the best way to find yourself. Bon voyage.

       Capture every landscape in you new iPhone’s panoramic view, for unfortunate ones like us whose holidays are long due. Bon voyage.

      I know that your business trip is just an excuse, actually you just want to go there to enjoy the cruise. Bon voyage.

     Traveling is to the mind, what love is to the heart and education is to life… truly enriching. Bon voyage.

     Traveling isn’t about looking and watching, it’s about feeling and experiencing. Bon voyage.

     The money you spend on your travels is actually an investment that will help you grow from within. Bon voyage.

     Go where no one has ever gone, do what others have never done, live like others have never lived. Bon voyage.

     You are lucky to be able to travel so much for business, I am a little jealous of you, I confess. I wish you not just success, but also tons of happiness. Bon voyage.

     Life’s meaning doesn’t lie simply in promotions and pay checks. It also lies in crossing boundaries, experiencing new cultures and understanding the world in a better way. Bon voyage.

      When you travel with loved ones, it doesn’t matter where you are going – because every place will envelope you with love and happiness. Bon voyage and enjoy your family vacation.

     We will desperately wait for your photographs, but more so for the souvenirs you get us. Bon voyage.

       The only way to make your travels fantastic, is to nurture an undying penchant for the exotic. Bon voyage.

Leaving for College Quotes

    As life gives you wings, always remember that no matter what you do and where you go, your parents are always here… looking out for you and wishing that all your dreams come true. We will miss you, goodbye.

    The first day of college is like your first kiss. It will start before you even realize and by the time it ends you will have no idea what happened. Good luck.

    You can either be proud of graduating from a prestigious college or you can make your college proud of having prestigious alumni like you – the choice is yours.

    College is a journey unlike any other – beautiful and bad, exciting and exhausting, unique and ugly, happy and horrendous, charming and cute, lovely and lonely. Good luck.

    Nothing can prepare you for college. Just have an open mind and the courage to follow your heart. Wish you the best.

    College will be difficult. You will face problems and there will be times when you will feel like quitting. But don’t give up, you are not alone. Keep pushing on because in the end, it will all be worth it. Good luck.

     As you leave for college I just have one thing to say to you son – be brave, be curious.

     Curiosity may have killed the cat but don’t let the lack of it make you as good as dead. Good luck for college.

     Before you begin your first day at college, just remember that the difference between being good and being great is the difference between listening and understanding. Good luck.

    It is good to seek perfection but it is better to seek excellence. It is good to work hard but it is better to work hard smarter. It is good to study but it is better to learn. It is good to have a dream but it is better to actually pursue it. Good luck for college.

     College is all about LEARNING – Listen, Experience, Aspire, Reflect, Nurture, Imagine, Network and Grow. Good luck.

       Don’t let anything come in-between you and your dreams because nothing is worth giving up on your destiny. Good luck.

     Let education and knowledge be your guiding light, but in the end, always let your heart show you the way. Good luck for college.

       Leaving for college? Congratulations, you’ve just taken the first step towards learning how to stand up on your own two feet.

     A few wise words before you leave for college – whenever in doubt, never ask yourself WHAT you are doing. Ask yourself, WHY you are doing it.

     One last piece of advice before you leave for college – you may not always be right but you will always do well as long as you do the right thing. Good luck son.


     College is not just a place where you’ll learn answers to a lot of life’s questions, but also a phase which will make you question a lot of life’s answers.

     College is all about building – building friendships, building experiences, building connections, building relationships and more importantly, building your future. Good luck.

      Watch, learn and create – let this be the motto of your daily life at college. Good luck.

      College is a race but don’t worry about crossing the finish line first. This race is less about reaching faster and more about understanding HOW and WHY you reached it. Good luck.

     Express yourself, commit yourself, focus yourself and enjoy yourself – college is a journey where forgetting to do any of these will cause a lot of regret later in life. Good luck.

     The day you leave for college is the day you become responsible for your own future. Study hard, have fun, make good decisions and strive to make every single day a memory that you will cherish forever.

     Don’t try to be the person everyone around you wants you to be. Make sure every day of your college life is dedicated towards being the person you see yourself becoming.

     Never forget that life’s greatest battles aren’t fought with fists, but with ideas and thoughts.

     College will be a journey as awesome and exciting as you let it be. Put aside your inhibitions and be hungry for success – opportunities are waiting for you with open arms. Good luck.

     Use your imagination – it is the only thing that will never run out. Good luck.

      As long as your heart tells you that you’re on the right path, as long as your gut tells you that you’re doing the right thing – never look back because those are the only things that will give you wings. Good luck for college.

      Every time you feel low, every time you feel tired, every time you feel like giving up – remind yourself that education is the only asset in your life which will never be written off.

     You will do well in college, as long as you keep chasing excellence and keep running away from procrastination. Good luck.

     In terms of hard work and sacrifice, you will pay a big price to get that degree. But in terms of the value it adds to your life, that degree is priceless.

       Whenever you hit rock bottom, pat yourself in the back because you are still alive. Whenever you fail, smile because now you know what it takes to succeed. Good luck for college.

     As long as you have hard work in your stride, good luck will always be by your side. Best wishes for the first day of college.

     Your college education won’t be a pillar of your life. It will be a ladder which will help you climb up to new heights. Good luck.

     College – the only place where your parents will pay for you to stay, eat, sleep and party. Have fun, good luck.

     Never turn your back even on small problems and never be afraid to face big adversities. Never look back at your small mistakes and never stop thinking about your big dreams. Never give up when you fail and never quit looking for the epitome of success. Good luck for college.

     Keep questioning yourself, because you never know how many answers you will need to find the path of life that you truly want to take. Good luck.

      Make friends for LIFE, create LIFE long memories and get an education that lasts a LIFEtime. Good luck for college LIFE.

      Be ready to work hard – this is the only way you can prepare yourself for college and life after it. Good luck.

     College is the pinnacle of education and the beginning of your career. The amount of hard work you put in now will determine how well you life your life later. Good luck.

       Go to parties and have all the fun you want. But don’t forget the most important reason for which you got into college – creating the foundation of the rest of your life. Good luck.

Inspirational Messages-SMS for Students

    In life, NO ONE and NOTHING will help you until you start helping YOURSELF.

     Success might be relative but most things that matter in real life aren’t. A degree is a degree, a job is a job and hard work is hard work – as simple and direct as it can be.

    Listen to your teachers when they tell you WHAT to do. But more importantly, think about it later and ask yourself WHY they told you to do it.

     Everyone has a talent and so do you. Let it shine out, is all you have to do.

     Don’t feel sad because you are different from others. Every unique skill and talent has the potential to make you a superstar. Embrace your personality and unchain your inner strength. Don’t forget – the one thing that all successful people have in common is that they were different than everyone around them.

    Good grades are a stepping stones towards getting into a good college, getting a good job and eventually living a good life. Shun those complacent C’s, avoid those boring B’s and strive every single day, to get those awesome A’s.

     Life is all about CHANCES and OPPORTUNITIES. Never leave anything to CHANCE and never let an OPPORTUNITY get away.

    Every problem might not have a solution right now, but don’t forget that but every solution was once a problem.

    Study like there’s no tomorrow because if you keep putting off your studies for tomorrow, you’ll probably be too late.

    It is true that experience is one of life’s best teachers. But if you don’t study you will probably never get any experience in the first place.

    In real life, there is no such thing as second place. Either you are a winner, or you’re not.

     Give up on your frustration but never on your hopes. Give up thinking about your setbacks but never on your goals. Give up worrying about your past but never on your future.

     Expecting to get a good job without studying hard is like expecting to win a marathon without running it.

     Succeeding in life is as simple as being a good student. All you have to do is pay attention, work hard and give it your best shot.

     Education is the anchor that holds life together through choppy waters. Study hard.

       Winners from all walks of life have their own strategies and plans but they all have one thing in common – they TRY. Keep trying.

      Failure is only temporary. The only thing that should be permanent is your will to overcome it.

      Being a good student is less about the ability to rote and more about the desire to learn.

     It’s okay if you don’t know what to do in life as long as you are not doing something you shouldn’t be doing. Staying on one of the right paths is better than veering off to the wrong ones.

       You will meet a lot of people in your life who will give you advice and tell you what’s best for you. Listen to them but at the end of the day, do only what your heart tells you to.

     Don’t give it YOUR best shot. Give it the best shot ANYONE could have possibly given.

     Each and every problem is a skill waiting to be learnt in disguise.

     Stop thinking about WHAT WILL HAPPEN and start thinking about WHAT YOU CAN DO.

     Being a good student throughout school and college is like preparing yourself for a marathon which will begin after you graduate. Focus on your goals and study hard, because the last thing you want is to tire yourself out before the finish line.

     Greatness is simply defined as the ability to believe in yourself and ignoring everyone who says you can’t do it.

     Don’t study to earn, study to learn. What you learn today is what you will become tomorrow.

      Don’t take SHORTCUTS in life because in the long run they will CUT SHORT your journey.

      Think of every single bully who has made fun of you and humiliated you in front of all your friends. Use the image of their faces to motivate yourself to study hard and work harder. Think of how amazing it will be when twenty years down the line, you see them living in a trailer while you cruise past in your Bentley.

     You can look for inspirational quotes about success but that won’t do you any good until you try to be an inspiration yourself.

       Aiming for the stars? Great, but did you have to build a rocket first.

      You might have hundreds of likes on Facebook but that won’t pay your bills. You might have tens of retweets on Twitter every day but that’s not going to pay your mortgage. You might have heaps of unread messages on WhatsApp but that’s not going to pay for your new car. You might have dozens of likes on Instagram that’s not going to pay for your life. Get a life, start working hard today.

     Life is less complicated than it seems. Good habits and hard work are all it takes to succeed and win.

     Time can be your best friend and your worst enemy depending on whether you use it or waste it.

      You can use excuses to convince others, but how will you convince yourself?

     Jobs and bosses will come and go, but your education will always help you to grow.

     Life is your journey, Goals are your destination and Hard Work is your set of wheels.

     Even a billion starts with ONE – all you need to do is take that ONE step and keep trying again and again until you reach where you want to be.


     As a student the most important thing to remember is that Laziness is your worst enemy and Hard Work is your best friend.

     Everyone makes mistakes. But only those who stand up and look a mistake in the eyes to say I WILL FIX YOU, go on to succeed.

       Education is not a safety net. It is the rocket which will propel you towards success. All you have to do is have an aim and work on everything that takes to get a lift-off.