Funny Messages-SMS
When I die, I want my grave to offer free Wifi so that people visit more often. My life is a constant cycle of wa...
Funny Messages-SMS
Funny Messages-SMS
04 December 2015
Funny Messages-SMS
When I die, I want my grave to offer free Wifi
so that people visit more often.
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My life is a constant cycle of waiting for the
weekend.
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I will marry the girl, who look pretty in her
Adhaar card.
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I love food and sleep. If I give you a bit of
food or text you all night, that means something.
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Diets are hard because I get hungry.
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I trust a lot of people not to kill me every
day.
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I’m pretty sure my dogs only sit in the window
and watch me leave so they know when it is safe to sit on the couch.
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Some people should just give up at engineering
or medical. Like I have!
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We live in the era of smartphones and stupid
peoples.
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Everyone has an annoying friend. If you don’t
have one, it’s probably you.
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We all have that one skinny friend that eats
more than fat person.
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People say everything happens for a reason. So
when I punch you in the face, remember I have a reason.
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Car headlights should flash at the same time
the horn is pressed to alert people with hearing difficulties.
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Asking if I’m hungry is like asking if I want
money. The answer is always YES.
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There’s no more dangerous entity on earth than
a woman with a lot on her mind and nothing to do but think.
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7 billion people on the planet and I can only
tolerate maybe 10.
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Life is short. Buy the damn shoes.
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“F#CK It.” – My final thought before making
most decisions.
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When two people are arguing and one person
says “You know what…” , that argument is about to get awesome!
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Doing nothing is very hard thing to do…you
never know when to finish.
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Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t
expect it back.
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Just because I don’t care, doesn’t mean I
don’t understand.
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Common sense is a flower that doesn’t grow in
everyone’s garden.
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Behind every crazy women is a man who made her
that way.
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Never make eye contact while eating a banana.
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Facebook is the refrigerator of the internet.
I keep going back to it expecting something to appear that I’ll enjoy.
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Behind every great man is a woman rolling her
eyes.
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I love my job only when I’m on vacation.
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AwesoME ends with ME and Ugly starts with U.
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I think my iPhone is not working. I pressed
the home button and I’m still at school.
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I always learn from mistake of others who take
my advice.
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Just saw the most smartest person when I was
in front of the mirror.
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God is really creative, I mean...just look at
me :P
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My study period = 15 minutes. My break time =
3 hours
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I'm not lazy, I'm just on my energy saving
mode.
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Please be patient even a toilet can handle
only one ass hole at a time.
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God made everything that has life, rest
everything is made in China.
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Whenever I have a problem, I just sing, Then I
realize my voice is worse than my problem.
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Women should not have children after 20.
Really… 20 children are enough.
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That awkward moment when you realize that
“deleting History” is more important than “creating History” nowadays.
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If you can't Change a Girl.....Change the
Girl.
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When I’m on my death bed, I want my final
words to be “I left one million dollars in the…"
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My goal in life isn’t to become famous or
powerful…it’s to make enough money to eat whatever I want.
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life is short…smile while you still have
teeth.
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500 recipes pinned to my Pinterest board.
Eating a peanut butter & jelly sandwich.
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I just want to be famous enough to have a
Wikipedia page full of misinformation about me.
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If you want to keep a secret from me, put it
inside a Facebook event invitation.
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My boyfriend asked me for anal so I colour
coordinated his sock drawer. I know what men want.
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Some days you can’t play the music loud
enough.
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My favorite outdoor activity is going back
inside.
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Don’t grow up. It’s a trap.
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Beautiful people are not always good, but good
people are always beautiful.
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Never go to bed angry. Stay awake and plot
revenge.
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I’ve been using Google for 10 years and I have
no idea who uses the “I’m Feeling Lucky” button
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Everyone has an annoying friend. If you don’t
have one, it’s probably you.
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How do people write an auto biography? I can
barley remember what I had for lunch yesterday.
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When a woman says WHAT? Its not because she
didn't hear you. She’s giving you a chance to change what you said.
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Dear Google, please stop behaving like a GIRL.
Will you please allow me to complete the whole sentence before you start
guessing & suggesting.
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Virginity is like a soap bubble, one touch and
it is gone.
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Everyone else thinks you’re an asshole.
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Save Water, Drink Beer!
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Rules are made to be break.
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I don’t care what people think of me. At least
mosquitoes find me attractive.
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My life has a great cast, but I can’t figure
out the plot.
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I will never admit to my parents that I don’t
believe in the Easter Bunny or Santa as long as I still get presents and
candy.
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Don’t jump to confusions.
When plastic bags become currency, I will be
king.
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Brains are wonderful, why don't have everyone.
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80% boys have a girlfriend and rest have a
brain...
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I don't get drunk, I get awesome.
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Life is onetime offers use it well.
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If Monday had a face, I would punch it.
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People said to follow your dreams so i went
back to bed.
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You have the perfect face for radio.
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Marriage means silent suicide.
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Yeah you're really pretty, pretty stupid.
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Never let anyone tell you you’re too young to
do something. A baby shark is still a f#%king shark.
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Few things turn me on like good grammar.
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The best way to get a man to do something is
to suggest he’s too old for it.
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Sure, your prince might come. But just in case
he doesn’t, God created wine.
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Stop looking for trouble. I’m right here.
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Men look at a woman’s behind and think “Wow!
What an ass.” Women look at a man’s face and think the very same thing.
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“I’m definitely going to do that tomorrow.” —
Me being delusional
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I’m having trouble telling if it’s killing me
or making me stronger.
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Be f#%king polite. Please.
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Aaaaand I’m already over this day.
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I like my coffee like I like my oxygen –
CONSTANT.
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No one is ever “just kidding”.
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I’m happy as long as I’m not hungry.
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Did anyone else get the email about them
canceling school next week?
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I feel bad for the people who change their
birthday for April Fools Day and then their mom wishes them Happy Birthday :)
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You look like a before picture.
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Enjoy your life. There's is plenty of time to
be dead.
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3 mistakes of everyone’s life: Facebook, Twitter
and Whatsapp
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Everything is funny as long as it is happening
to somebody else.
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The secret of a happy marriage remains a
secret.
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You’re ridiculous. Want to be best friends?
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Do you still hate me? I don't care!
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Trust me you will dance - Alcohol
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Silent people have the craziest minds.
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Jumma Mubarek Messages
“How to Increase your Rizq 1. Taqwa 2. Reliance on Allah 3. Good relations with family 4. Thankfulness 5. Asking forgiveness” Jumma Mubarak
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“Faith has four pillars; .patience… .certainty.. .justice.. .and struggle.” :) JUMMA MUBARIK!!
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“Allah tests our patience and our fortitude. He tests out strength of faith. be patient and there will endless rewards for you, insha'Allah" - Utaz Badr” jUMMA MUBARAK
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“Be peaceful, be courteous, obey the law, respect everyone; but if someone puts his hand on you, send him to the cemetery.” Jumma Mubarak
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“I challenge anyone to understand Islam, its spirit, and not to love it. It is a beautiful religion of brotherhood and devotion.” Jumma Mubarak
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“Reflection is the lamp of the heart. If it departs, the heart will have no light.” JUMMA MUBARAK
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“Knock, And He'll open the door Vanish, And He'll make you shine like the sun Fall, And He'll raise you to the heavens Become nothing, And He'll turn you into everything.” Jummah Mubarak
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“Pay the hired worker his wages before his sweat dries” ― Hazrat Muhammad P.B.U.H Jumma Mubarak
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“I have learned that one should say "Peace!" to those who shout their hatred for one's being and presence or at one's passage.” Jumma Mubarak
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“The Quran holds the answer to all. Have you opened it?” Jumma Mubarak
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“The Prophet (SAW) said: 'Knowledge is only gained through learning and clemency is only gained through perseverance.” Jumma Mubarak
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“The world is 3 days: As for yesterday, it has vanished along with all that was in it. As for tomorrow, you may never see it. As for today, it is yours, so work on it.” ― Hasan Al-Basri Jumma Mubarak
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“We were the most humiliated people on earth and God gave us honour through Islam. If we ever seek honour through anything else, God will humiliate us again.” Jumma Mubarak
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“When my prayers are answered, I am happy because it was my wish. When my prayers are n ot answered, I am even more happy because that was gods wish.” ― Ali Ibn Abi Talib RA Jumma Mubarak
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"The best day on which the sun has risen is Friday; on it Allaah created Aadam. On it, he was made to enter paradise, on it he was expelled from it. And the last hour will take place on no day other than Friday".
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-*-_ BEING A MUSLIM _-*-_ Dont say OK Say IN SHA ALLAH Dont say WOW Say SUBHANALLAH Dont say GREAT Say MASHA ALLAH Dont say I AM FINE Say ALHAMDULILL..... Jumma Mubarak
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“How can I be sad when Allah is my lord?” Jumma Mubarak
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“O Allah, the Lord of this total call (invitation, proclamation) and the Lord of the Salat to begin, grant Muhammad ‘intercession’ ( a status) and grant him superiority and let him reach Mooqame Mahmood which You have promised, for definitely You do not go back on Your promises”. Jumma Mubarak
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"May you spend this day in fasting, prayer, repentance and meditation to commemorate on the agony and suffering of Christ on the cross. Have a blessed Good Friday!"
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0 Allah F0rgive Me All My Sins Great Nd Small The First Nd The Last Th0se That R AppRnt Nd Th0se That R Hidden. Aameen Ramadan’z First Jumma Mubarak.
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A believer covers up and give Naseehah, whereas an evil-doer exposes and humiliates
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A Girl Dresses up Trying to look as pretty as possible. Applies make-up & styles her hair. She wants to look attractive.
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Allah will accept your Dua. Keep your faith and do not despair Jumma Mubarak
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Allah is not kind to him who is not kind to people.” (Bukhari and Muslim)
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Allah Has Perfect Timings Its Never Early Its Never Late What V Have To Do Iz Just A Little Patience Nd A Lot Of Faith Insha Allah Everything Will Be Fine Remember Me In Ur Prayers Jumma Mubarak.
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A prayer: to bless your way A wish : to lighten your moments A cheer: to perfect your day. Jumma Mubarak
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A simple mistake could be getting too attached to a thing or a person, it’ll always let you down. Stay attached to Allah, and to him only. Jumma Mubarak
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A rose protects its beauty with thorns, :) <3 a Muslimah protects her beauty with her Hijab! ^_^ (Y) JuMMA MUBARAK :)
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All Praises are due to ALLAH, The Forgiver and Concealer of Faults, The Guide to Repentance, The ONE who Responds to duas Jumma Mubarak
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An honest treasurer who gives what he is ordered to give fully, perfectly and willingly to the person to whom he is ordered to give , is regarded as one of the two charitable persons Jumma Mubarak
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Always send prayers to your loved ones becoz: %%%When prayers go up.. blessings come down…!!!%%% Jumma Mubarak
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As Friday Shines In The Heart of Muslims, May You Be Among The Ones Who Will Receive The Peace And Blessings of Friday Prayers … !!
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Allah has a beautiful plan for every women & man trust Allah and pray and he will light the way. Jumma Mubarak..!!
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A Good Word A Good Word Ix Like A Good Tree Whoxe Root Ix Firmly Fixed Nd Whoxe Top Ix In The Sky-Quran Jumma Mubareek
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A MAN was not considered a REAL MAN until he knows the Sunnah Jumma Mubarak
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A Muslim's heart is at ease because we rely on Allah. We know what is meant for us won't miss us & what isn't meant for us won't reach us. Jumma Mubarak
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A Prayer Is Cleaning Therapy, Of Heart & Most Effective Purifier Of Soul, It Converts Hate Into Love & Changes Anger Into Kindness Jumma Mubarak
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Clean your houses of cobwebs, for leaving them in the house brings about poverty Jumma Mubarak
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Body is like a Flash Light, Mind is like a Bulb; Knowledge is like Battery Cells; And Soul is like a Switch. Only when they all work together, do we experience Light! Jumma Mubarak
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By completely surrendering to Allah you can conquer all obstacles in life. inshaa Allah. JUMMA MUBARAK
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Best: Leader – Allah Guide – Quraan Lyrics – Azaaan Loyalty – Imaaan Request – Dua Protection – Fitraa Oath – Kalmaa Exercise – Namaaz Self Control – Rozaa Charity – Zakaat Tour – Haj Jummah Mubaraeek
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Best cosmetic for the lips is truth, For the voice is prayer, For the eyes is pity, For the hands is charity,and for the heart is care Always keep these in your heart. Jumma Mubarak
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Believe that Ahha is at work, behind the scenes. He'll make all things work for your good! Jumma Mubarak
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Ask Allah to give you what's good for you and not want you want. Because what you want may not be good for you. Allah knows best. Jumma Mubarak
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Ask Allah to give you what's good for you and not want you want. Because what you want may not be good for you. Allah knows best. Jumma Mubarak
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Attachment to nature has limits but the attachment to Lord that you develop when the inner eye opens has no limits. Enjoy the reality, not this false picture! Jumma Mubarak
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Be thankful to the wounds that pushes you towards ALLAH Jumma Mubarak
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Allah has made you exactly how He wanted. Don't critique His artwork. Jumma Mubarak
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ALLAH, help me to remember You, To be grateful to You and To worship You in an Excellent Manner. JUMMA MUBARAK
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Best cosmetics for the lips is truth, for the voice is prayer, for the eyes is pity, for the hands is charity, and for the heart is care. Please always keep all of these in your heart. Jumma Mubarak..!!
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Cry in front of Allah,not in front of anyone because Allah help out while others will pity u Jumma Mubarak
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Dear God, Thank you for today, yesterday and tomorrow; My family, my joys and my sorrows; For all that made me stronger. Jumma Mubarak
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Do you order righteousness of the people and forget yourselves while you recite the Scripture? Then will you not reason? Quran Jumma Mubarak
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Heal your hearts with Quran, it is a medicine that doesn’t expire. It removes from the heart whatever there is of stress, worry & sadness. Jumma Mubarak
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He showed us the way He has long been göne And yet in our hearts His name shines on…. Wish u a Holy Friday Jumma Mubarak
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Happy Moments – PRAISE ALLAH Difficult Moments- SEEK ALLAH Quiet Moments – WORSHIP ALLAH Painful Moments – TRUST ALLAH Moment By Moment – THANK ALLAH Jumma Mubarak
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Happy juma,at to my brothers and sisters in islam May Allah (swt) accept our ibadat ameen
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He showed us the way; He has long been gone; And yet in our hearts; His name shines on. Wish you a blessed and Holy Friday!
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Help me, I pray To get through this day. As this day is the master of all days I don’t even ask To have things my way, Your will is okay. Things done in your way Are best suited to stay In the Master Plan, Help me to help In any way that I can Don’t let me be Part.
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Don’t stress over the things that you can not change. Make “DUA” over them. Jumma Mubarak..!!
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Don't go on discussing what a good person should be. Just be one! Jumma Mubarak
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Don't simply thank God for the many blessings you received. Thank Him for He has chosen you to be a blessing to others! Jumma Mubarak
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Gift of SALAM wrapped with AFFECTION tied with CARE & sealed with “DUA” 2 keep u safe & happy today & always. Jumma Mubarak.
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Faith is the ability to see the invisible! Jumma Mubarak
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Don’t forget to say every minute :
* La ilaha illallah
* Allahu Akbar
* Alhamdulillah
* Subhanallah
* Astaghfirullah
*La Hawla wala Quwwata Illa Billah
JUMMA MUBARAK
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Duniya is not the resting place Its a testing place Jumma Mubarak
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Every problem or an obstacle takes us closer to God! Jumma Mubarak
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Everything around you will be gone one day. Your phone, school, house, etc. The only thing that will matter is what you did for Allah. Jumma Mubarak
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Faith is taking the first step... even when you don't see the whole staircase! Jumma Mubarak
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Flowerful Morning. Colourful Noon. Joyful Evening Peaceful Night Wish u a Fantastic month ahead..!! Jumma Mubarak
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If you depend on people to make you happy, you will be sad most of the time. Encourage yourself and pray. ALLAH SWT will never let you down. Jumma Mubarak..!!
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If You Feel That The Distance Between You & ALLAH Has Increased...
Remember..! ALLAH Has Not Moved....
Even An Inch...!!!!
Jumma MUbarak
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If you are on the right path towards Allah, then run. If it is hard for you, then jog. If you get tired, then walk. And if you can't, then crawl. but NEVER go back or stop. Jumma Mubarak
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If things r happening according to ur wish, u r lucky! But if they r not, u r very lucky, Bcoz they r hapning according to God's wish! Jumma Mubarak
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I ask Allah 2 make u happy, make u smile, guide u safely, though every mile, grant u wealth, give u health & most of all grant u paradise! Jumma Mubarak
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I am the witness to his fearless death. I am a token of his last promise Forgiveness I am the CROSS Blessings on Good Friday. Jumma Mubarak
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How is it possible to taste the sweetness, of your tea without adding honey? Then how is it possible to taste the sweetness, of Imaan without possessing Love for the Habib (SAW) Juma Mubarik…
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God changes: Sand into pearls; Coal into diamonds; And Caterpillars into butterflies. Using time and pressure, he's working on you, too! Jumma Mubarak
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God do not love us because we are good, but that God will make us good because He loves us. Jumma Mubarak
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GOD, Grant Me The Serenity To Accept The Thingx I Cannot Change Courage To Change The Things I Can Nd The Wixdom To Know The Differenxe ? Happy Jumma Mubareek.
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Four blessed ways of living: 1st - Look back and thank God. 2nd - Look forward and trust God. 3rd - Look around and serve God. 4th - Look within and find God! Jumma Mubarak
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Hazrat Ali Ne Farmaya.. Jisne Kisi Ko Akele Main Nasihat Ki Usne Usse Sanwaar Diya or Jisne Kisi Ko Sab Ke Samne Nasihat Ki Usne Usko Mazeed Bigaar Diya. "Jumma Mubarak"
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Hope is the constant companion of those who believe in God. Hope for the best and it'll come to you! Jumma Mubarak
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Hope you wake up with a smile on your face, a heart full of love and a morning full of inspiration, with a prayer that God will bless you always. Jumma Mubarak
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How fortunate are those that love Allah. They never have to depart from their Beloved. Jumma Mubarak
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Life is Test, Islam is best, Namaz is must, Aakhrat is for rest, World is only dust, If Quran is in chest, nothing need next, Obey ALLAH first. Success will be next. Jumma Mubarak
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If you will carry on the way guided by human, you will find a HOPELESS END. But if you will carry on the way guided by Allah, you will find an ENDLESS HOPE Jumma Mubarak
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Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul Jumma Mubarak
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Learn to trust the journey, even when you do not understand it just Trust Allah. Jumma Mubarak
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Jumma Is A Wonderful DAY “To Pray” “To Love” “To Care” “To Smile” “To Relax” And “To Thank ALLAH” For All He Gives To Us Jummah Mubarak.
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Madness in Art is Creation. Madness in Philosophy is Wisdom. Madness in the search of God is Worship! Jumma Mubarak
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JUMMA MUBARAK Islam is not about, "We are better than you". Islam is about , "Let me show you something, that is better for you".
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In God’s eyes, Love is never absent. In God’s heart, forgiveness is never impossible. In God’s embrace, no one is ever alone or forgotten. Jumma Mubarak
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Islam is University, World is class room, Quran is Syllabus, Hazrat Muhammad SAW is the teacher, Allah is the Examiner, Try to pass the final exam Jumma Mubarak
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In the blink of an eye everything can change. So forgive often and love with all your heart. You may never have that chance again. Jumma Mubarak
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Imaan brings you to Jannah in the hereafter and brings Jannah to your soul in this life. Jumma Mubarak
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I'm a failure. He's my forgiver. I'm a sinner. He's my savior. I'm broken. He's my healer. I'm His child. He's my God! Jumma Mubarak
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In life, to be successful you have to tie yourself to your goals. Tie your life to Jannah and never let go until you reach your goal. Jumma Mubarak
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Islam says: when the time of Jumua'h prayer comes, discontinue every activity and answer the call to prayer, meet earnestly, pray, consult and learn by social contact; and when the meeting is over, scatter and go about your business
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If today you are facing hard times, Have faith and pray for a better tomorrow Jumma Mubarak
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In the midst of our lives, we must find the magic that makes our souls soar!
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Islam Says… When The Time Of Juma Prayer Comes, Discontinue Every Activity And Answer The Call To Prayer, Meet Earnestly, Pray, Consult And Learn By Social Contact, And When The Meeting Is Over, Scatter And Go About Ur Business… Jumma Mubarak ….
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It's wonderful when we get answers to our prayers; But it's even more wonderful when God converts us into an answer of somebody's prayers! Jumma Mubarak
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Nobody fears hypocrisy except a believer, and nobody feels secure from it except a hypocrite… Jumma Mubarak
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Never say "HI" instead say ASSALAM-O-ALIAKUM Never say "BYE" instead say "ALLAH HAFIZ". Do not ignore your reality, u r Muslim Jumma Mubarak
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May The Light of Jumma, Shine In Your House. The Strength of Eemaan, Stay in Your Heart. And May Allah Shower His Countless Blessings On You and Your Family on This Holy Day. Jumma Mubarak.
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May Our Deeds Attract Allah’s Love, Noor And Barakah To Have Our Lives Filled With Happiness, Freedom And To Be Saved From Calamities, I Wish You A Heart-Full Jumma Mubarak To Achieve Such Deeds.
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MAY THE ANGELS PROTECT You.. MAY GOODNESS SA-ROUND You.. MAY SADNESS FORGET You... MAY HAPPINESS BE AROUND You... And MAY GOD ALWAYS BLESS You.. Jumma Mubarak
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May Allah’s Blessing Light Ur Way Nd May U Get Guaidance The Wh0le Life. Hajj Mubarak Jumma Mubarak
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No life ever grows great until it is focused, dedicated, and disciplined. But no life is ever happy until it is lived for the glory of God. Keep the faith. Jumma Mubarak
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Next Friday would be in The Month Of Ramadan. May Allah Bless you on this Friday and keep blessings upon you till next Friday Jumma Mubarak
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No matter what direction I’m walking towards,left, right, forward, backward, up or down,I’m returning to Allah with every step,every moment. Jumma Mubarak
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No one will manufacture a lock without a key. Similarly, Allah won't give problems without solutions. JUmMA MuBaRaK
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Never think you can choose better for yourself than Allah can. It is He who created you, it is He who knows what is best for you. Jumma Mubarak
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Never search your happiness in others. Find it with Allah and you’ll feel happy even when you are alone. Happy Jumma Day!!
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May Allah – The Almighty Guide Us To The Right Path!!! And Forgive Our Sins….. Allah Is The Most Forgiver…… Ameen!!!
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Juma Is A W0ndrful DAY 2Pray 2L0ve 2Care 2Smile 2Relax And 2 Thank Allah 4All He Gives T0 Us Juma Mubark.
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Jumma Mubarak To you and Your Family, May Allah bless you and forgive all your sins
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Life is fragile, handle with prayer! Jumma Mubarak
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