Coolest Funny Quotes and Sayings
"I need a six month vacation, twice a year." "I'm not lazy. I'm just on my energy sav...
Coolest Funny Quotes and Sayings
Coolest Funny Quotes and Sayings
Showing posts with label funny sms. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny sms. Show all posts
12 January 2016
Coolest Funny Quotes and Sayings
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"I
need a six month vacation, twice a year."
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"I'm
not lazy. I'm just on my energy saving mode."
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"Time
is precious. Waste it wisely."
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"Life
is short. Smile while you still have teeth."
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"Thanks
to Facebook. I now know what everyone's bathroom looks like."
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"Laughter
is the best medicine. But, if you're laughing without any reason, you need
medicine."
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"With
great power comes great electricity bill.
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"When
I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did–in his sleep. Not
yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car." — Bob Monkhouse
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"A
successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A
successful woman is one who can find such a man." — Lana Turner
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"I
remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my
father. He said he wanted more proof." — Rodney Dangerfield
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04 December 2015
Funny Messages-SMS
When I die, I want my grave to offer free Wifi
so that people visit more often.
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My life is a constant cycle of waiting for the
weekend.
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I will marry the girl, who look pretty in her
Adhaar card.
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I love food and sleep. If I give you a bit of
food or text you all night, that means something.
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Diets are hard because I get hungry.
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I trust a lot of people not to kill me every
day.
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I’m pretty sure my dogs only sit in the window
and watch me leave so they know when it is safe to sit on the couch.
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Some people should just give up at engineering
or medical. Like I have!
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We live in the era of smartphones and stupid
peoples.
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Everyone has an annoying friend. If you don’t
have one, it’s probably you.
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We all have that one skinny friend that eats
more than fat person.
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People say everything happens for a reason. So
when I punch you in the face, remember I have a reason.
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Car headlights should flash at the same time
the horn is pressed to alert people with hearing difficulties.
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Asking if I’m hungry is like asking if I want
money. The answer is always YES.
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There’s no more dangerous entity on earth than
a woman with a lot on her mind and nothing to do but think.
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7 billion people on the planet and I can only
tolerate maybe 10.
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Life is short. Buy the damn shoes.
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“F#CK It.” – My final thought before making
most decisions.
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When two people are arguing and one person
says “You know what…” , that argument is about to get awesome!
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Doing nothing is very hard thing to do…you
never know when to finish.
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Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t
expect it back.
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Just because I don’t care, doesn’t mean I
don’t understand.
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Common sense is a flower that doesn’t grow in
everyone’s garden.
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Behind every crazy women is a man who made her
that way.
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Never make eye contact while eating a banana.
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Facebook is the refrigerator of the internet.
I keep going back to it expecting something to appear that I’ll enjoy.
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Behind every great man is a woman rolling her
eyes.
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I love my job only when I’m on vacation.
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AwesoME ends with ME and Ugly starts with U.
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I think my iPhone is not working. I pressed
the home button and I’m still at school.
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I always learn from mistake of others who take
my advice.
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Just saw the most smartest person when I was
in front of the mirror.
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God is really creative, I mean...just look at
me :P
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My study period = 15 minutes. My break time =
3 hours
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I'm not lazy, I'm just on my energy saving
mode.
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Please be patient even a toilet can handle
only one ass hole at a time.
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God made everything that has life, rest
everything is made in China.
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Whenever I have a problem, I just sing, Then I
realize my voice is worse than my problem.
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Women should not have children after 20.
Really… 20 children are enough.
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That awkward moment when you realize that
“deleting History” is more important than “creating History” nowadays.
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If you can't Change a Girl.....Change the
Girl.
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When I’m on my death bed, I want my final
words to be “I left one million dollars in the…"
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My goal in life isn’t to become famous or
powerful…it’s to make enough money to eat whatever I want.
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life is short…smile while you still have
teeth.
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500 recipes pinned to my Pinterest board.
Eating a peanut butter & jelly sandwich.
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I just want to be famous enough to have a
Wikipedia page full of misinformation about me.
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If you want to keep a secret from me, put it
inside a Facebook event invitation.
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My boyfriend asked me for anal so I colour
coordinated his sock drawer. I know what men want.
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Some days you can’t play the music loud
enough.
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My favorite outdoor activity is going back
inside.
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Don’t grow up. It’s a trap.
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Beautiful people are not always good, but good
people are always beautiful.
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Never go to bed angry. Stay awake and plot
revenge.
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I’ve been using Google for 10 years and I have
no idea who uses the “I’m Feeling Lucky” button
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Everyone has an annoying friend. If you don’t
have one, it’s probably you.
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How do people write an auto biography? I can
barley remember what I had for lunch yesterday.
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When a woman says WHAT? Its not because she
didn't hear you. She’s giving you a chance to change what you said.
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Dear Google, please stop behaving like a GIRL.
Will you please allow me to complete the whole sentence before you start
guessing & suggesting.
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Virginity is like a soap bubble, one touch and
it is gone.
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Everyone else thinks you’re an asshole.
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Save Water, Drink Beer!
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Rules are made to be break.
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I don’t care what people think of me. At least
mosquitoes find me attractive.
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My life has a great cast, but I can’t figure
out the plot.
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I will never admit to my parents that I don’t
believe in the Easter Bunny or Santa as long as I still get presents and
candy.
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Don’t jump to confusions.
When plastic bags become currency, I will be
king.
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Brains are wonderful, why don't have everyone.
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80% boys have a girlfriend and rest have a
brain...
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I don't get drunk, I get awesome.
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Life is onetime offers use it well.
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If Monday had a face, I would punch it.
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People said to follow your dreams so i went
back to bed.
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You have the perfect face for radio.
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Marriage means silent suicide.
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Yeah you're really pretty, pretty stupid.
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Never let anyone tell you you’re too young to
do something. A baby shark is still a f#%king shark.
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Few things turn me on like good grammar.
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The best way to get a man to do something is
to suggest he’s too old for it.
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Sure, your prince might come. But just in case
he doesn’t, God created wine.
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Stop looking for trouble. I’m right here.
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Men look at a woman’s behind and think “Wow!
What an ass.” Women look at a man’s face and think the very same thing.
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“I’m definitely going to do that tomorrow.” —
Me being delusional
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I’m having trouble telling if it’s killing me
or making me stronger.
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Be f#%king polite. Please.
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Aaaaand I’m already over this day.
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I like my coffee like I like my oxygen –
CONSTANT.
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No one is ever “just kidding”.
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I’m happy as long as I’m not hungry.
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Did anyone else get the email about them
canceling school next week?
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I feel bad for the people who change their
birthday for April Fools Day and then their mom wishes them Happy Birthday :)
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You look like a before picture.
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Enjoy your life. There's is plenty of time to
be dead.
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3 mistakes of everyone’s life: Facebook, Twitter
and Whatsapp
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Everything is funny as long as it is happening
to somebody else.
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The secret of a happy marriage remains a
secret.
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You’re ridiculous. Want to be best friends?
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Do you still hate me? I don't care!
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Trust me you will dance - Alcohol
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Silent people have the craziest minds.
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22 November 2015
Funny Messages In Hindi Font
जिंदगी में सिर्फ ‘पाना’ ही सबकुछ नहीं होता, उसके साथ नट-बोल्ट भी चाहिए ।
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यहां खुदा है, वहां खुदा है, आस पास खुदा ही खुदा है, और जहां खुदा नहीं है, वहां कल खुदेगा ।
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वो इश्क़ मे यारो कमाल कर बैठी लिख कर “I
love you” send to all कर बैठी
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पत्नी अर्धांगिनी होती है, इसलिए उसे आधी जानकारी
ही दें, जीवन के आधे कष्ट कम हो जायेंगे
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अपनी इंडिया में सरकार हो या शादी, सबको एक साल में खुश खबरी चाहिए..।
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पगली प्यार दिखाएगी
तो प्यार पाएगी एट्टीटुड
दिखाएगी तो थप्पड खाएगी.
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Arrange marriage के भी अपने फायदे है – कभी कभी ऐसी लडकी से शादी हो जाती है, जिसे लडका खुद सात जन्म तक नहीं पटा सकता.
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मैं भी तेरे ईश्क में आतंकवादी
बन जाऊं, तुझे बांहो में ले के बम से उड़ जाऊ
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कौन ‘कमबख्त’ कहता है, लड़के सोचते कम हैं लड़की एक बार मुस्करा
कर तो देखेशेरवानी के रंग से लेकर बच्चों तक के नाम सोच लेते हैं।
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लड़कियो को HOT बोल बोल ke बेमतलब सूर्य देवता से पंगा ले लिया अब वो पूछ रहे है कि अब बता HOT
कौन ???
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