06 January 2016

Funny Urdu Messages-SMS

1/06/2016 03:22:00 PM  , ,  No comments
Watching a drama wid mom
Boy: Will u marry me
Girl: OMG Ys
Me: *Smiles* Mom seez
Mom: Tujhe konsi maa yaad aa gaye
Meera: Fruit walay shop par
Mujh Potateos Fevr chaye
Shopkeeper: Yeh potatoes fever kaya hota hy?
Meera: u literacy people iska matlab hota hy
Aalo Bukhara
Pata nahi kiyo jab myn office kay liaye late hota hn tau
Poori kaynath mujhay Or late karnay ki saazish myn jooth jati hy
Moment of the Silence 4 those boys:
Jo Larki kay naam ke fake ID
Bana ker larki say dosti ker laite hyn
Or baad myn woh larki b larka niklata hy
To help
To protect
To Luv
In Pakistan
Pani Lao
Remote Lao
Gate Kholo
Room kaa door bnd kero

Qatil: dua kro k saza e mot na ho, umr qaid ho jaye.
Pathan Lawyer: Tum fikr mt kro
Qatil: (after case)
Kya hua
Pathan: brri mushkil se umr qaid krwai ha. wo to reha krry thy
Pathan: rat ik admi ne mujhy chaku dikha k loot liya.
Dost: lekin tumhary pas to humesha gunn hoti ha
Pathan, : han shukr ha usny wo ni dekha, ni to wo b ly jata
 Funny Urdu SMS
Teacher : is muaahwry ka jumla bnaye
” Munh me pani ana ”
Pathan: jesy hi mene nal ko mu lgaya,
<="" p="" style="box-sizing: border-box;">
Kash !! Sooraj ke bhe biwi hoti,
Kam se kam usey thora control main tou rakhti.
It takes 1000000 workers … to build a castle…

Million soldiers to protect a country..

But just one woman to make a Happy Home!

Let’s Thank…KAMWALI MaSSi    lolx hahahahhahahaha
God Ney pOOchha:

“kidhar jaaney ka maangta???”
Swarg ya narak???

Apon bola narak. ..

Maloom q???

Tum saala dost log udharich milega…
Bole to jidhar tum woich apna swarg hoga…!!  
*Killing English*
Pappu:- “Hey, Fruit walay Baba, give me some Potatoes fever. . .
Fruit wala: Oo mere bhai ye ‘Potatoes Fever’ kya hota hai? . .
Pappu:- Oo Maye Gaad, You Literacy People, Potatoes Fever means
“Aaloo Bukhara!”

Great people talk about things…Small people talk about other people…
And legends never talk: they are dead 
Heart touching Lines…

If U Are In Tears..

Without ..

Any Reason Then..

Then..

Then Somebody Is …
Peeling Onion Near U….  
Don’t Over emotional 
height of genrosity: tum swaab samjh kr dil tortay ho ..
R aur..Aur Hum Gunah Sumjh kr Gila b Nahin Kartey tum b kiya yaad rakogay k kisi ny muhhabat k qabil samjha ta 
Jo m()uddat se hota aaya hai wo repeat kr d()()nga..
Tou na mili tou apni zindagi ctrl+alt+delete kr dunga..!!   hahha
Aankho sey aans()()()o ki judai kr do..
Dil sey ghamo k3 widaai kr do..
Agr DIL na lage kahi t()()h…
Aa jao merey ghar k33 safai kr do…!!   hhhahahhaha
Na jiney ki aarzu na marney ka khaOOf…
The number u are trying is currently powered off…!!
aik shairr sunnata hoon zaraaa ghoor sy sunnoo zara ghoor sey sunnoo wah wahh
Mujhay nahii ataaa haii kisi orrrsy sunno   hahahaha hum ka shayar lagta haii apkooo?? 
uthaa kar paink doo bahir galii mai..
nayee tehzeib k anday hain ganday .. !!  
درد دل بڑاھنے كے واسطے وه كبھى كبھى اپنى ياد دلاتے تھے ہيں

!!ورنہ ہم تو كب كے بھول بيٹھے ہيں قائد اعظم كے 14 نكاتوں كى طرح
UStani : Tum late Q aye ho?
Student: Ammi Abbu lar rahy thay eslie…
Ustani:Wo lar rahay thay tu tum kion late aye…
Student: Mera ek joota ammi ke pas tha owr ek abbu ke pas…
   hahahahahha
*
‘, ,
‘ ,’,’,’,
Pakistan Mai ”Mah-E-L0ad SHedding” Kah ChaNd Nazar Agya Hay
Tamam L0ag Kurbani Kay Liye Tayaar Hojayn
(Pesco).
Khushbu Phool Dete Hai
Naam Chaman Kah Huta Hai
Line Ladkiya Marti Hai
Naam Ladkoh Kah Kharab Huta Hai
Close Up Say Daant Saaf Karne Ka
Pepsodent Se Mazboot Karne Kah
Colgate SayFresh Karne Kah
Ager Phir Bhi White Nahi Huey Toh
“Harpic Use Karne Ka”
Please Dont Cry After thIx Pj
Matti Ko Angreji Mein Kehtay Hai Clay
Matti Koh Angreji Mein Kehte Hai Clay
Uuuh
Aaaahh
Let the Music Play
Killing Shayri-
Apne Gamo Ko Mere Dost Apnay
Dil Me Daba Lo
Apne Gamo Ko Mere Dost Apne
Dil Main Daba Loh
Godrej Powder Hair Die Bs Kato
Gholo Aur Laga Loh
Ek Shayar Garibi Say Tang Aakar Daaku Ban Gaya
Daketi Karne Bank Gaya
Or Kaha
Arz Keya Hai
“Taqdeer Me Jo Hai Wahi Milega
HaNds Up
Koi Apni Jagah Se Nahi Hilegaah
Phir Cashier Se Kaha
Kuch Khawab Meri Aankho Se Nikal Do
Joh Kuch Bhi Haai Jaldi say Ix Bag Main Dal Doh.
Ladke Ne Kiya Ladki Ko Touch
Wah Wah
VIxualize Maat Kero Aage Pado
Ladke Ne Kiya Ladki Ko Touch
Asli Masaale Sach Sach
Mdh Mdh.
Aasman Fata Or Dharti Hil Gayi
Aapne Socha Hmse Mukti Mil Gayi
aRe Ham Zara Saa Busy Keya Huye
Aapne Socha Acha Hai Musibaat Tal Gayi
Dil Ke Armaano Koh Ham Nhi Batate
Khwabo K Phool Ham Nhi Sajate
Hmari 1 PasNd Se Kahin Tutt Nah Jaye Hazaroun
Dil Tabi To Hm Koi Girlfrnd Nhi Banatay.
Dena Hai Dil Daan Mein
Wah Wah
Dena Hai Dil Daan Mein
Wah Wah
Hai Koi Larkeei
Aapke Dhayan Main?
(“,)>
/( )
..Jl
Arz Kiya Hai
Highway Pay Hua Puncture Eik Tire
Zaraa Gaur Farmayaein
Highway Pe Hua Puncture Ek Tyre
Ni Woofer Tu Meri
Main Tera Amplifier
App Ki 5 Khubbiaan
1——–
2——–
3——–
4——–
5——–
Agar Zindaagi Main Koi Baadiyaa Kaam Kiyaa Houta
Toh Ajj Yeah Jagaan Khali Nhi Huti.
:: Deadly Poor Jokes ::
Joh 1 Galti Kary Woh
Anjaan.
Joh 2 Glti Kary Woh
Nadan.
Joh 3 Galti Kry Woh
Shetan.
Joh Galtion Pe Galtion
Kaary Woh
Sardar.
:: Poor Jokes In Hindi ::
(‘.’)>’\(‘,’ )
<)(….. //\,
_/|_ ….Jl
Kaab Taak Jaawani Chupaao Gi Raani?
,*,
( ‘.’)
/)(\
Kanwaro Koh Kitnaa
Sataao Gi Rani?
(‘.’)
‘ /)(>
Kabhi Toh Kixi Ki
Dulaaniyaa Banuggi
Iz Say Shaadi Kerogi?
(\./)/”?——;”;
\,,/”( , ….., )\\
//\\””//\\
I Want To ShaRe Everything With U
Ur Sadnexx
Ur Happppy Momentx’
Each & Everything
Every Single 2cond Of The Day
Let’z Start With Ur “Atm Password”.
Masoom Dhamki:
1 Chor Chori Kaar Kay Ghaaar Se Jaa Raha Thaa K Bachay Ki Aaankhh Khuul Gai
Bacha Bola:
Mera School Baag Bhi Lay Jaa Kami-Ne Warnaa Shor Maacha Duonga.
Santa : Oye Tu Larki Dheakh Aayaa? Kaisi Hai?
Banta : Rang Say Kaali Hai AOr Kaan Se Kaam Sunti Hai
Santa : Zaraa Englixxh Me Baataa
Banta : ‘BLACK-BERRY’ Hai.
Santa: Jab Me Chota Tha Toh Eik Baar Kutub Minaaar Say Ger Gaaya Tha
Banta: Acha!Toh Mar Gya Ya Bach Gaya
Santa: Saale. Mujhay Keya Pata, Me Toh Chota Tha.
SANTA:- Yaar Tujhay Bus Mein Thapaaar Kiyon Paraaa?
BANTA:- Pata Ni Yaar,Meri Photo Nichay Gir Gayi Thi
Maine Kaha Bahenji Zara Saari Uppar Karnah Photo Laini Haai.
Santa : Oye Tu Larki Dheakh Aayaa? Kaisi Hai?
Banta : Rang Say Kaali Hai AOr Kaan Se Kaam Sunti Hai
Santa : Zaraa Englixxh Me Baataa
Banta : ‘BLACK-BERRY’ Hai.
Santa Ne Apnay 6 Month Kay Baby Ki Birthday Paarty Raakhi

Kisinay Puxha: 6month K Baby Kah Brthday Kaisay?

Santa: Hm Semester System Ko Follow Kartay Hain.
Train Me Warning Likhie Thi

Binaa Ticket Saafar Krnay Walay Yaatri Hossheyaar

Santa- Waah , Toh Jisnay Ticket Li Woh Chu-Ti-Yeah ?
Teacher – Un Do King’x Kah Naam Batao Jinhone
Duniya Ke Logo Ko Nayi Raah Pay Chalaya
Santa – Sir
1.Smo King
2.Drin King.
Santa Roz Subha 50 LadKeyan Meraa Intezaar Karti Hain
Man- R Wah Vo Kaise?
Santa- Main Girl’x Collage Kah Busdriver Hu Na.
Master- 2 Me Say 2 Gaye To Kitne Rhe?
Santa-Samjh Me Nhi Aya Masterji.
Mster-Beta TmR Pas 2 Roti H,Tmne 2 Roti Khali
TmaRay Paas Keya Bacha?
Santa-Sabji.
Santa:Muje Zehaar Dianah
Chemist:Pehle Dr. Say Lekhwaa K Lao
Santa:Apni Shaadi Kaaah Card Dikhataaa Hai
Chemist:Bus Kaar Bhai Rulayegaa Keyaah,Baadi Bottle Duu Yeah
Chhoti.
SANTA:Maine Apni Beti Ka Shaadi Sirf 2500rs Mein Keya
BANTA:Woh Kaise?
SANTA:Maine Use 2500 Ka Ek Mobile Dilaaya
Usnay Love Marriage Karliya.
SANTA :Apka Kuttaa Toh Sher Jaisa Deakhtaa Hai Keya Khilate Ho Isaay
BANTA:Abe Woh Sheer Hi Hai Saaa-Laa PYAAR-WYAAR Kay Chakkar Me
Kutte Jaixaaa Dikhnaay Laagaa Hai.
Hasi K Liye Ansu Kurban
Khusxi K Liye Gum Kurbaan
Dost K Liye Toh Jaan (B) Kurbaan
Agr Dost Ki Girlfrnd Mil Jaye Toh Saalaa Doxxt (B) Kurbaan.
Santa Koh Raaat Mein CigRtte Peenay Kaa Maan Keeya
Saab Taaraf Machis Dhoondaa, Paar Kahi Nhee Milaa

Aakhir Me Niraash Hoke CaNdle Bujjhaa Kay Soo Gaya.
Paati Aor Patni Mein Jhagraaa Hoo Rahaa Tha
Pati: Tu Saay Li Kutti
Patni: Tu Saa Laa Kuttaa
Bachhe:- Hi. Hi..Hi Hm Sa Le Pilleee.
1 Larki Ny Coin Daal Kay Apnaa Wazaan Kiyaa-58kg
SAndal Utari-56.
Jacket Utari-53.
Fir Dupata-52kg.
Aur Coin Khaatm.
1 Bhikhari Bola: Tu Chalu Raakh Sikke Mai Dalonnga.
Masoom Dhamki:
1 Chor Chori Kaar Kay Ghaaar Se Jaa Raha Thaa K Bachay Ki Aaankhh Khuul Gai
Bacha Bola:
Mera School Baag Bhi Lay Jaa Kami-Ne Warnaa Shor Maacha Duonga.
2 CHUHE Bike Pay GHuum Raheay Thy
Tabbhi SHER Ne Lift Mangi.
To 1 CHUHA Khada Hokar Bola- Soch Le Teri Maa Fir Kahegi Ki

Gundo Ke Sath GHmne Lagaaa Haay Ajj-Kal.”
Zayxyazyxpyxz-Zyxnzxyxyexzyx-Zxiyzxtyxzyxnyzxizx-Xyzmxzyexzhxzxnzxyaxzyztxz-Xqzy-Yzkxiyz?
Edit Mein Jao AOr SaR XYZ Dlete Karo 1 Swal Bnaigaa Uss Kah Jawaab Dena.
Jaldi
Boy To Jyotishi
BOY-Meri Koi Girlfrnd Kiyon Nahi Baan Rahi Hai?
Jyotishi- Kaise Banegi?

Kundlee Mein Sukh Hi Suukh Likhaa Hai.
Kahtay Hai Ishq Karnay Valoun
Koh Neend Bhut Kaaam Ahti Hai
R Yaar Koi Hamse Bhi Toh Ishq KaaR
Hame Neend Bhut Aati Hai.
Ajeeb Prani Ke BaRe Me Padhenge Iss Jeev Kah Naam He
“Biwi”
Yeh Aam Taur Par Rasoi Or Tv
K Samne Payi Jati Hai
Inka Poustik Aahar Hai-Pati Kah BHEJA
Ye Pani Kam Khoon
Jyada Piti Hai
Inhe Aksaar Naraaz Hone
Ka NATAK Karte Hue
Dekha Jata Hai
Is Prani Ka Sabse
Khatarnak Hathiyar He
RONA Or Emotionally
Blackmail Karna
Uske Sampark Me
Rehnay Se TENSION
Naaam Ki Bimari Hoo
Sakti He,
Jiska Ilaaz Bahut Muskil Hai
Baas Insay Savdhaan Rehnaa
“Bharatiyaa Puruush Bachaav Saaamiti” Dwara Janhit Me Jari.
Ajj No Vichaaar-
SUKH Toh Tamaaru Punyaaa Haase
Tetlu Malse J
Parantu
ShantiI Toh Tamnay Ghaarwali Ni Icchha Hasshe Teetli J Malse.
Girlfrnd Ki Sister Agaar Mixxed Call KaR Toh Usse Keya Kahengay?

Betaaa
Mann Mein 2usra Laaddu Phuutta.
The Best Msg Ever :
Telebrands Tv Channel Par Advertisment
Hello Dostoun
Pehle Mai Bahut Dukhi Rehtaa Tha
Hamesha Hatash Rahta Tha
Mujhse
Padhai Nahi Ho Pati Thi
Gharwalo Ke Taanay Sun Kay Roo Diya Karta Tha
Fir Maine Iss Naye Product Ke BaaR Me Sunaa-
!!!…WIFE…!!!
Yeah Vakai
Lajwaaab Haai
Ab Mein Puri Neend 2 Ghante Me Hi Kar Leta Hu
Duniya Bhar Ke Taane Aur Galiya Hans Ke Sun Leta Hu
Kitni Bhi Musibat Aaye Khuxxh Rehta Hu
Dukh Sukh Ki Tenxxion Say Upaaar Uth Gya Hu
Nark-Swaarg Yahi Hai Samjhta hu
Dushmano Say Piyaaar Hoo Gaayaa Hai
Jai Hoo WIFE Ki
Saach Me
Yeah Vaakai Asaardaar Haai.
SANTA Nay Nayi Car Kharidi AOr Uskay Darvazay Paar Kiyaa Likhaaya?

Sochoo

SochoooSocho

DARWAJAA BAHAR KI TaRf OPEN KaRay.
Master : Tmnay Homework Nhi Keya
Batao Keya Sajaa Doh?
Boy : Woh Ladki Joh Last Seat Pay Baithi Hai
Usne B Nhi Keya,Hm Dono Koh Baher Nikaal Doh.
Pati-Darling Ajj Khana Tmhari Ma Ne Bnaya Hai Keya?
Patni-Lekin Yeah Baaat Tmheay Kaise Paata?
Pati-Rooz Khane Main Kalay Baal Milteay Thay
Ajj Safeed Mile Han.
Aapki Aankhein
Aapkaah Chehraa
App Kah Anadaaz
App Ki Smile
App Kah Style
Appki Personality
Aapkah Smartnexx
Kassh Koi Cheeez Toh Aapkay Paas Huti.
Machar Nay Eik Aadmi Koh Din Mein Kata
Aadmi Bola:Tm Toh Raat Mein Kaaat-Tay Hoo Nah.?
Machar Bola:Ghar Ke Halaat Kharaab Hai
Ixx Liye Over Time Kaar Raahaa Huon.
Mariz:Dr Mere Paas Paisayy Nahi Hai
Aap Meraa Ilaaaj Kaar Doh Toh Kabhe
Aapke Kaaam Aoungah
Dr:Kya Kaam Karti Ho?
Mariz:Qabaar Khoddetaa Houn.
Santa Nay Bhagtay Huway Bux Pakraa
Aor Driver Say Pucxhaa
Buss Teri Maa Lagti Hai
Driver Nahi
Behaan Nhi
Beewi Nhi
Toh Kami-Nay Pakdnaay Q Nhee Daiitaa Hai.
Maa Apnay Bete Koh 20 Saal Tak
“Gental” Banati Hai Aoor Ek Larki
20 Second Mein Use
“Mental”Bana Dayti Haai.
It’x True
Kitne Haseen Hoo Tm Khudkoh Dusroun Ki
Naazzar Say Bchaaya Kaaro
Kala Tika Lagana Kafi Nah
Gale Mein Limbbu Mirch Bhie Latkayaah Karo.

Your Laxt recharge Of 300 Rs/- Iz Suxxxessful
Current Balnce Iz 291 Rs
To Check Balnc Dial *121*2#.

R Aap Toh Aasani Se Phans Gaye
4rm-Sahir.
Teacher Student Se
Dabang Kah Mean Keya Hota H?
Golu-Yes Main Jantaa Huon
Teacher-Batao Kiyaa Hotaa H?
Golu-Avi App Kah Sir Fhood Dohnn
Toh Aap Koh Pata Chaal Jayegah.
Woh To Aaj Bhi Humaay Deakh kar Shaarmati
Muskurati Hai
Aur Nazarien Jhukatee Hai
Khambkhaat Toh Unkay Bache Haai Jo
Maamuu Maaamuu’ Kehkar Bulataay Hain.
College Mein 1 Larrki Aayii
Dekh Ke Saabkoh Woh Ghaabraai
Madam Ne Pucha Naam
Toh Woh zoor Say Chilai AOr Kaaha

Name: Jaaleebi Baai.
Hm Unki Gali Say Guzray Yeah Ek Itefaaak Thaa
Ghorr Farmayeah
Hm Unki Gali Se Guzre Yeah Ek Itefaak Thaa
Upaar Say Eik Phool Giraa Hm Pay
Lekin
Gamlaa Bhe Uske Saath Tha.
Chote Toh Bade
Abe Bataa “B” Koh Humexha Thand Kyo Lagti Hai.?
Bade- Mujhe Nahi Pata..
Chote- Socho***Socho***Or Socho***
Bade-Abi Nahi Pataa
Chote- Kiyuon KiWoh Humexhaa “A” Or “C” Kai Bicxh Mein
Rehtti Haai Naah.
Sweet Kiss- Sar Par
Lovely Kiss Gaaloo Per
Most Romantic
Kiss-Honthoun Par
Nd The Hot Kiss?
Bike Ke Silenxxer Per
Try It”Kyuki Dar Ke
Aagay Jeeet He”.
“Dimagh Hai To Msg Sirf 1 Baar
Padh K Jawab Dena
1 + 5 + 3 – 2 + 8 + 6 – 5 + 8 – 6 + 14 – 4 + 5
Haa To Sawaal Yeah Hai Ki
“Laapsi” Koh Englixh Mein Keya
Kehtay He?.
Namaskar! Yeah Hamarri Falltu SMS Sewwa Hai
Ismay Hm – Logoun Koh Waqt Bewaqt Pareshan Kiya Karte Hain
Iss Sewaa Kaa Labh Uthane Kay Liye Shukriyeah

Abb Aap Apnaa Kaaam Kariyeah.
Kamwali:Malkin Apki Purani Sarri Mujay Nahi Chahiye
Malkien:Q
Kamwali: Apki Sari Pehnnay Ke Baad Sahab
Mere Pax B Nhi Ate Aur Driver Prexhan Karta Hai.
Zindagi Tanha Tanha Thi
Mera Koi Achi Dost Nahi Thi
Lekin Pher Tm Milgayi
Tou Mujhe Ehsas Hua K
Akely Hi Sukoon Main Thaa
uff larkiyan bhe nah.
Why Girl’x Prefer Luv Marriage
More Thaan Arrange Marriage?.

Becoxz A Known Kameenaa Iz BettEr Than
An Unknown Naamuonah.
Zindagi Tanha Tanha Thi
Mera Koi Acha Dost Nahi Tha
Lekin Pher Tm Milgaye
Tou Mujhe Ehsas Hua K
Akely Hi Sukoon Thaa.
Woh Joh Mehbuub Ki Yaad Maain Jagte
Hain Tanhaan Raatoun Koh
Sirf Woh Hee Bata Saktaay Hein KKuon Say Mobile Ki Batery A6hi Challti Hai
Kash App Bakree Hote
Hm Aapko Ghaas Khilatay
AOr Jor Jor Se Aapke Singh HilatY
AOr Poochtay Ki SMS Koun KaRegaah Tm Yaa Main
Or Aap piyaar Say Kehetee
Main *** Main *** Mai.
Namaskar!

Yeaah Haai

Hamarri Faaltuu SMS Sewaah Hee
Iss Sewaah Kaah Laabh Uthanay ky Liyaa Shukriyah
Agr Fursxxaat Ke Lamhoo Mein
Mujhaay Yaaad Kartaay HoToh
Mujhaay Yaad Maat Karnaah
Mai Tanhaa Zaroor Hu Magaar Fizzzul Nahi.
2 Santa Train K Piche Bhaag Rahe The
Ek Chadh Gayaa
Toh Train Main Logoo N Kaha”Well Done”
Santa-Khak Wel Done,Jana To Usee Thaa
Mai To Chhodnaay Aiyaa Thaa.
Accident Dekhnay Par Xpression’x
U.S: Oh My God
Pak: Yeah Allah
Sa: O Laa Laa
Aus: Got A Hit
Gujarati-Halko Colour Karva Maa Ny Krvama Thokaigayoo.
Bhayankar Joke-
Phone Ring’x Tring Tring Toh Gujarati’x Home
1st:Hello,Hu Kaanti Bolu 6uu
2nd:Su Vaat Karo choo
Hu To Modhi Thi Bolu cheu.
Nokri Mate “Khouj” Keero
Jamva Mate “Luj” Karoo
Nahva Mate “Huj” Karoo
Balance Hoy Toh Sms Karo
Na Hoy Toh Mera Sms Vachi “Moj” Kero.
Bapu:Jivla Padoxmma Koi Lammbi Baai Rahee 6e?
Jivlo: Ha Bapu, Ghaani Baadhee 6,Keem?
Bapu:Ennaa Kapraaa Leto Aav
Doctore Mane ThaNde Maa Lambbi Bai
Nah Kapda Pervana Kidha chr.
Girl 2 D0ct0r:
Girl: Dr Sahab Mery Lips Par Infecti0n H0gya Hy?
Dr:Ap M0bile Pe Kitne Dair Bat Krti Hen?
Girl: M0bile Kharab Hy
Islye 1 Weak Se K0e Bt Nhi Ki
Dr Phr Lips Pey Infecti0n Nahi
Balky Lips Pe Zang Lag Gaya Hy.
New Generati0n T0 Learn The
Alphabets In This Way:-
A-Apple
B-Bluet00th
C-Chatting
D-D0wnl0ad
E-Email
F-Faceb00k
G-G00gle
H-Html
I-Iph0ne
J-Java
K-Kingst0n
L-Lapt0p
M-Message
N-Ner0
0-0rkut
P-Picasa
Q-Quick Time
R-Ram
S-Server
T-T0uch Screen
U-Usb
V-Vista
W-Wi-Fi
X-Xp
Y-Utube
Z-Zubaidaa Aapaa.
Man1 Sitting With D0g
Man2:Ur D0g Bits?
Man1:N0
Man 2 Sits Nd The D0g Bits
Man2 Angrily U Said He D0es N0t Bit
Man:That Is N0t My D0g.
A Girl Ph0ned Me The
0ther Day N
Said
C0me 0n 0ver
There’s N0b0dy
H0me
I Went 0ver
N0b0dy Was H0me.
News: 3 Chimps Escaped Fr0m
The Z00 1 Was Caught Watching
Tv An0ther Playing F00tball
Nd The Third 0ne
Was Caught Reading
This Txt Message.
Bhikari: Sahab ek rupiya de do.
Sahab: Tumhe sharam nahi aati road par khade hokar bhikh mangte.
Bhikari: Abe tere ek rupiye ke liye office kholu kya?
BUDDA Buddi me ho rhi thi kissng..
Budda Buddi me ho rhi thi kissng..
abi aap chote ho isliye
“some txt missing”.
Doctr-Ab kya haal h?
Patient-Pehle se zyada khrab h.
Dct-Dawai khali thi kya?
Pt-Nhi dawai ki
sheeshi to bhari hui thi.
Dc-I mean dawai leli thi?
Pt-Apne di to maine leli.
Dc-Bevkuf dawai peeli thi?
Pt-Nhi,dawai to laal thi.
Dc-Gadhe, dawai ko pee
lia tha?
Pt-Nhi ji peelia to mujhe tha..
Girl tO Me

Girl: TUum BOhat Besharam
hOo o_O

Me: WOo tU Main Bachpaan sa
he hOon
Main TUu Paida b Nanga HOwa
thaaa .
Larka Wale: Hume Asi Larki Chaye Jo Zyada Khati-Peeti Na Ho
Hmesha Chup Rhe or Sub Ki Sune
Larki Wale Asi Larki To Apko “ICU “Me Hi Milegi.
BV:Ab Q Larh Rhe Ho Shadi K WaQt To Maze Se Kaha Tha QabooL Ha QabooL Hai.
SHohr Agr Mjhe TuMhaRa Pta Hota To Kehta Fazool Hai Fazool Hai..!
Formun Üstü
1 admi gehri soch me ja raha tha
Achanak 1 Aawaz i
Ruk Jao
Wo Ruka to
Opar se ek Pathar gira agar wo na Rukta to Pathar us k Sir pe lagta
Wo road cross karnay laga k phir Aawaz i
Ruk Jao Wo phir Ruka to
road se ek Car tezi se guzri wo bal bal bach gaya
Wo zor se Chillaya
.
Kon ho Tum?
Aawaz i k me Tumhain Musibat se Bachanay wala Farishta hon
.
Wo admi ronay laga or bola.
Tum us waqt kahan thay
Jab mei
‘SHAADI’ kar raha tha.
1 Pathan Wazir Banny k baad Hospital k visit pe chala gaya.
Wahan 2 mareezon ko Oxygen lagi hui thi Aur
1 ko nahin lagi thi.
Pathan ne: Doctor se poocha: 2 Mareezon ko “CNG” lagi hai Aur 3sre ko Q nahin?
Doctor ne Drip ki Taraf Esha’ra kia aur bola:
Ye Mareez “PETROL” pe Chal raha hai.
Cute One ..
If u read my post, it means I’m cute
If u like, u agree I’m cute
If u cmnt, u r happy to know that
I’m cute & if u ignore,u r jealous,bcoz I’m cute.
Teacher –
Agar tumhara dost or girlfriend,
kashti me doob rahe ho to tum kise
bachaoge..?
Student – Marne do dono ko.!

Teacher- kyu.?

Student- Saale dono 1 sath 1 kasti mein
kar kya rhe the..:p:p
Ek Dost:
Meri biwi maikay gai hui hay

Doosra:
Aur tum apny Rub ki kon kon si naimaton
ko jhutlao gey.
Ek baar mene larki ko propose kiya
And wo maan gyi

Phr neend khul gyi Meri.
Very True Lines
Hamesha yaad Rakhain
K
Zindagi main hamesha 2 hi morr
aatay hain

SAJJAA
TAY
KHABBA.
Teacher: In 3 mein fark batao!
CALL GIRL, GIRL FRIEND& BIWI ?
Sari Class chup ho gayi
itne mein Pappu bola:
“Madam ji, prepaid, postpaid &
unlimited.

How to see a girl in front of ur Gf-
after drinking SPRITE
BOY- dekho us Ladki ko Wo kapdey bilkul Suit nahi
karte.
GIRL- haan..!
To Bey kutte. Tu to chahta hai ki wo
kapdey hi na pehne…
Moral- Girl ne pehle hi SPRITE pee Li thi.
1st Friend:” Yaar Mai Jis Ladki Ko
Chahta Hu,
Usne Mujhse Shadi Nahi Ki..
2nd Friend:” Tumne Use Bataya K Tera
Chacha
Crorepati Hai ??
1st Friend:” Haa mene bataya Tha..
2nd Friend:” To Phir ??

1st Friend:” Ab Wo Meri Chachi Hai..
Hahaha…
Moral : Bc paisa aur ladki dangerous combination.
1 shaks shadi k leay marriage bureau gaya
Office band tha
Or bahar Door per Notice laga howa tha
1 baje se ly k 3 baje tk office band rahe
ga TAB TAK AAP PHIR SOCH Lain.
Sharabi daaru pee pee kar mar gaya lekin marte marte bhi keh gaya,,
Daaru toh BRANDED hi peeta tha

Saala Liver hi LOCAL nikla..
Girl (boy ko jealous feel karane k liye):” Dekho woh ladka meri taraf dekh ke muskura raha hai…
 Boy:” Yeh to kuch bhi nahi, jab maine pehli baar teri shakal dekhi thi to 3 din tak Apni hassi nahi rok paya tha.
Grl in Burkha!!
Boy-Kaha ja rahi ho meri jaan!
Grl-Tere Ghar,
Boy-Main bhi aata Hu

Grl-Aaja beshram, Ammi ko bataungi
Apni bahen ko Chedta hai.
Paise wala aadmi:” aaj mere paas
14 cars
18 dukaan
4 Bangle hain..
Tumhare paas kya hai ??

Gharib aadmi:” mere paas 1 beta hai, jiski girlfriend teri beti hai
Special informaion..!
Aj Raat Chand ko Mat Dekhiye Ga…!

Warna

Apko Meri yad Ajayegi
(‘.’)/ choty pani lao
<()yaha kuch jal
//rha h.
Agar Daag Ache hote Hain To Phir

Surf-Excel Bananae Ki Kya Zarurat Thi.
Sare Ameer baap ke beton ka ek hi problem hota hai,

Unko ye nahi pata hota hai ki unke baap kaun hain, hamesha bolte rehte hain ki tujhe
pata hai mera baap kaun hain.
Pyar 1000 Ke Note Jaisa Hai

Darr Hi Rehta Hai Kahin Naqli Na Ho.
1 Faqeer 1 Pathan K Ghr Aya or Bola:me Allah ka Mehman hu,
Pathan Uska Hath Pakar Kar masjid me le Gaya or Kaha:
“Allah ka Ghr Ye hy 
Is Ramazan Pepsi 65 ki miley na miley

100 k recharge pe 65 zarur milein ge.
Hum Kisi ki Dosti k muntazir nahi hain,
Faraz
Jo Humain chor kr jaye ga Wo INSHaLLAH,
Ramaan main Sahri time peeppa hi Wajaey ga.
Beti: Ami Mera Teacher Kitna Pyara Hai Na?
Ami: Beti Teacher Bap k Brabr Hota Hai,
Beti: AMI Ap Hamesha Apne Hi Chakar Mein
Rehna, Hamare Liye Na Sochna.
Maalik: Tum bathroom mein kyu ghus aaye, Kya tumhe pata nahi tha ki mein naha raha hoon?

Naukar: Hazur galti ho gayi, mein samjha tha begum sahiba hai. 
Facebook K bad Dunia Ka Dusra bra,
Social network jahan ap Daliy hazaro, new logo s mil skte hen,
OR Dosti Kr skte hain,

CNG Station.
Sb Kuch Mil Jata Hy
Esi Dunia ME,
Faqat 1 Wo Shakhs Nahi
Milta,
Jo itnay Fazool MSG Krta
Hy, (,”) <))> /L
Putar 1 Wari Lab te Sai.
Shadi se phele Ka
PYAR:

Janu Tum Nahi,
To Main Nahi,
OR
Main Nahi
To Tum NAhi,
AUR
Shadi K Bad Ka
Pyar:

“KAMINI”
Aaj Tu Nahi
YA Main Nahi
Plz is SMS ko Pora Mat Parhna, nichy kuch Ulta Seeda likha hua ha,

Ulta Seeda.
Dulha:
Aaj se tum meri Zeenat ho,
Tabasum ho, Tamanna ho,
Dulhan:
Sharma k,
Ji Aaj se aap b mere liye,
Naveed ho,
Tahir ho,
Imran ho,
Kamran ho.
Har maa ki 1 hi dua,

Aag lag jaye tumhare is phone ko, 24 ghante tuk
tuk tuk tuk.
Maff karna Dost Kuch dino se, apko msg nahi kiya,
police na pakar liya tha,
Qatal ka Case me, mana 1 larki se kaha I LOve YOU,

Sali khushi se mar gai.
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Congratulations Messages-SMS for Passing Exams and Tests

1/06/2016 03:21:00 PM  , , ,  No comments
    Even Wolverine couldn’t have cleared these exams. You may not have blades of steel but your pen is mightier than any blade on this planet. Congratulations.
    Centuries ago, battles were fought with swords and shields. Today, battles are fought with knowledge and degrees. Congratulations for empowering yourself.
    Exams or not, we always knew that you were a champion in the making. Well done.
    The speed at which you are passing your tests shows that you’ll reach the finish line called SUCCESS before everyone else. Congratulations.
    Everyone has intellect and presence of mind. But only few students like you are able to use it at the right time. Congratulations for passing your exams.
       My Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Instagram are dedicated to celebrating the success of a bright student like you. I am going to treat you with Likes, Retweets, Pins and Shares. Congratulations.
     Age-old wisdom says that hard work always pays off in life, and you have proven that it holds true even today. Congratulations.
     If annoying teachers and arrogant bullies can’t stop you from getting good grades, nothing ever will. You are one tough nut. Congratulations for shining out.
    Education is as useless without experience, as experience is without education. By getting a degree, you have the best of both worlds. Congratulations on graduating.
    Doing well in exams are the only shortcut to success. Well done.
     By passing these exams you have proved that the phrases Beauty Without Brains and Dumb Blonde are a complete myth. Congratulations to the prettiest student ever.
     The best students are not those who are the most intelligent. They are the ones who take advantage of their talents and work hard to surge ahead of all their classmates – just like you. Congratulations.
     It doesn’t matter whether you want to become a lawyer, doctor, astronaut, engineer, dancer or CEO. What matters is that by passing these exams, you have proved that you have the ability and talent to become anyone you want to be. Congratulations.
     Exams may not be the ultimate test of life but they are definitely the ultimate test of character. By passing, it has been proven that you have a strong character – full of determination, focus and commitment. Congratulations.
     This exam may not be the biggest test of your life. But with good grades, you have proved that you are ready to take on life’s bigger challenges. Congratulations.
     Exams and tests will come and go but your determination and self-confidence will stay with you forever. Congratulations.
      Passing the SATs require a lot of perseverance. I hope your perseverance transforms into success in all your exams repeatedly, not just once. Congratulations.
      For a change, your girlfriend, mom, dad, brother, sister, teacher and friends have the same feelings for you today – they are all very Proud of You for passing your exams. Congratulations.
     The fact that you scored well in your exams does not come as a surprise to me. I always knew that you were destined to be successful – and these exams are just the beginning. Congratulations.
       You aced your tests, which is a sign that you will ace many other things in life. Congratulations.
     Even your grades agree that you’re going to go places in life. Congratulations.
     We didn’t need a scorecard to tell us that you were a winner. We always knew. Congratulations.
     You are not just a source of inspiration for your friends, but also a source of pride for your family. Congratulations for acing your papers.
     Just like how a diamond is worthless until it is polished, intelligence is worthless if it is not put to good use. You, have used your intelligence to shine like a diamond. Congratulations for passing your exams.
     Poor students always find problems and look for excuses. Good students like you always find solutions and move ahead. Congratulations.
     Exams and grades are temporary, but education is permanent. Congratulations.
      Now that you’ve got good grades, everyone around you will have to live up to your benchmark. Congratulations, thanks for making our lives miserable.
      There will be a vibrant rainbow in the sky today, because you’ve passed an important test with flying colors. Congratulations.
     Kudos to you for passing this important exam. I hope your result motivates you to pass every challenge that life throws at you.
       Getting good grades will get you into a good college. Getting into a good college will help you get a good job. Getting a good job will help you have a good career. As you can see, good grades are the stepping stone to a good life. Congratulations.
     Make the motto of your life, to never settle for anything but the best. That’s the only way you’ll excel and leave behind the rest. Congratulations.
     It’s no surprise that you’ve aced your exams. Tell us something more exciting. Congratulations son.
     We never need to read inspirational quotes and motivational stories, because we have an ambitious friend like you around. Congratulations.
     I sent you good luck before your exams. I prayed for your success in these exams. Obviously, the credit for your awesome results goes to me.
     There are two Types of students. One, who cry and complain about how difficult, tough and demanding their coursework is. Second, who take pride in being able to study and clear a difficult, tough and demanding coursework. You are definitely the Second Type. Congratulations.
     Exams are not just a test of brilliance, but the perseverance to be brilliant constantly. Congratulations.
      Like Alexander the Great, you have conquered the most arduous terrains of life by passing your tests. Congratulations.
      I hate to be the bearer of bad news but the worst part of passing every tests with good grades is that your intelligence will be taken for granted. Anyway, congratulations.
     Conquering your exams is just the beginning. May you conquer many more summits in your life. Congratulations.
       The only way to guarantee success in your life is to give everything your best shot, just like how you did to your tests. Congratulations.
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Thank You Messages-SMS for Coming to Birthday

1/06/2016 03:21:00 PM  , ,  No comments
    Thanks for coming to my party. It is a memory that I’ll hold close to my heart forever. xoxo
    The massive hangover I’m having right now after my birthday party last night means just one thing… you should start a band because you party like a rock star. Thanks for such an amazing time.
    Beautiful gifts, beautiful people, beautiful moments, beautiful toasts and a beautiful day – Thanks for coming and making my birthday beautiful.
    Birthdays and parties will come and go, but the priceless memories will stay in my heart forever. Thanks for coming.
    The best selfies of my life were clicked yesterday at my party, all thanks to friends like you who made it a perfect memory. Thanks.
    Times change, years go by and life takes its own turns, but the memories remain. Thanks for making my birthday one such beautiful memory.
     You came, you sang, you danced and you enjoyed. I know that was your way of getting sadistic pleasure while watching me grow old. Thanks a lot.
     I know YOLO but yesterday you taught me how to YOPO – You Only Party Once. Thanks for coming!
    Just like how a cake is incomplete without a candle and a gift is incomplete without wrapping paper, my parties are incomplete without my besties. Thanks for coming.
       The beautiful hues of my birthday selfies would have been drab and dull if it weren’t for you. Thanks for coming.
     Without you, my birthday would have been just another day in the calendar. Thanks for coming!
     I really don’t mind turning older on my birthdays, as long as I have friends like you who make life seem like a massive celebration. Thanks for coming.
     My birthday party finds its spot in my life’s top      happiest moments… thanks to friends like you who made it so awesome. xoxo
     The best day of my life was yesterday, not just because it was my birthday, but because you went out of your way, to make sure I had a party which made me go YAY. Thanks.
     Because you came, my birthday remained less of a small party and became more of a massive festivity. Thanks for coming.
     Awesome friends like you are the only thing stopping me from feeling old on my birthday. Thanks for coming.
      Cakes and parties are useless, if you can’t share them with friends who make life priceless. Thanks for coming to my party.
      My birthday party was cool, awesome and sexy only because it was attended by cool, awesome and sexy people like you. Thanks for coming.
     I may be hung-over, tired and grumpy today. But I was happy, excited and cheerful last night – and I owe it all to friends like you. Thanks for coming and living it up.
       My birthday party would have been like a quiet theater play. But thanks to you, it turned into a wild rock and roll concert. Thanks for the crazy times.
     Friends like you make my life totally worthy of being hashtagged YOLO. Thanks.
     I was pretty sure that you would come to my birthday party even if the city was washed away with floods, destroyed by an earthquake or conquered by aliens. After all, where else would you get free drinks and free food. Thanks for coming buddy.
     The music wouldn’t have been groovy, the food wouldn’t have been yummy and the drinks wouldn’t have been slurpy… if you hadn’t come to my party. Thanks.
     Your presence in my birthday party was like finishing off a delicious meal with a sinful desert – beautiful and memorable. Thanks for coming.
     According to an urban legend among us friends, every party you attend goes from dull and boring to crazy and fun. Thanks for coming and living up to your legendary status.
     You came and partied all night long, you came and same my birthday song. You came and brought amazing gifts, you literally gave my birthday a lift. Thanks.
      Awesome music, food and drinks were the good things about my party. But the best thing was that I had you to share it all with. Thanks for being a part of the celebration.
      Meet the star of my birthday party – this is how you have been tagged on Facebook in my latest album. Thanks for the good times rock star.
     If I could go back in time and have the same birthday party again, I would have done a lot of things differently except one – the guest list, because it was perfect and awesome. Thank you all for coming.
    If don’t care if the sun rises or not, as long as I am with my wife who I love a lot. Good morning.
     By coming to my birthday party with your presence, you filled my heart with happiness and my day with awesomeness. Thanks.
     Friends make parties worth attending. But besties like you made my birthday party worth remembering. Thank you so much for coming.
       You could have texted if you wanted to, made excuses if you wanted to, called in sick if you wanted to, sent in a gift if you wanted to… I’m glad you didn’t do any of these and came all the way to wish me on my birthday. Thanks.
      The presence of a superstar like you, made my birthday party nothing short of a Page   do. Thank you so much for coming.
      Awesome friends like you who know how to party like there’s no tomorrow, is the reason why I don’t mind saying again and again that ‘The treat is on me’. Thanks guys.
     To yet another year in my life as I bid adieu, I’m glad I celebrated with friends like you. Thanks for coming.
     I would have been sitting in a corner sulking and sobbing if you hadn’t come to my birthday party. Thanks for coming and saving the day.
       You came, you brought gifts and you partied the night away as if there was no tomorrow… thanks for celebrating my birthday as if it were your own. xoxo
     Your presence was the biggest blessing and gift that I got on my birthday. Thanks for coming.
     My birthday party would have been boring and lifeless, if it weren’t for friends who made it a blast of happiness. Thanks for making it, so memorable and truly priceless.
     Thanks to all the awesome selfies we clicked yesterday, my birthday party has been a hit not just in my heart but also on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.
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