Funny Messages-2

My eyes detected My heart reacted Thousand were rejected & Only you were selected. Because I needed a monkey for an advertisement.

Do u know what is GIRL? G-Ghost I-In R-Real L-Life So avoid girls & fwd their nos to me.Don’t worry about me. I’m a professional in ghost handling……

A pathan want to commit suicide, When asked: Why are you crying? Pathan said: My wife ran with my Best Friend & i can”t live without my friend.

Today is International Handsome Boys and Beautiful Girls day! So send this message to someone who looks smart and cute… Be true.. Don’t cheat like me

What is 143 ? I love u.. No.. I hate u.. No.. I miss u.. No.. I wish u.. NO.. 143 means ONE HUNDRED & FORTY THREE. Concentrate on Maths, And not on Romance:)

Evolution of Man: Without Marriage “Spider Man” On Marriage Day “Super Man” After Marriage “Gentle Man” If wife is beautiful then rest of life “Watch Man”

Things in boys room! Before Marriage: Perfumes Love Letters Gifts Friendship Cards After Marriage: Pain Killers Loan Papers Unpaid Bills List for Shopping Happy Unmarried Life.

Never ask for hug, Just take it. Never ask do you love me, Just say I love you. Never say I can’t live without you, Just say I live for you. You have been trained. Now go and flirt.

Wife: I am the book of your life. Husband: Yes exactly you are right. If you were a calendar of my life, then once a year I’ll change it.

Girl: Will you love me after marriage also? Boy: This depends on your husband, if he allows me.

If every child starts swapping their mummy papa mobile phones. Soon we will become the country with the highest divorce rate!

Laugh, until U have teeth.. U can Smile Later!!!

Awesome Saying: In Life,Don’t Be A Rat In A Rat Race Coz Even If You Win You’ll Still Be A Rat, Instead Be With Lions, Even If You Lose You’ll Still Be A Lion!

What’s the similarity between Income Tax and a Caller Tune? In both the cases, one pays the money and others enjoy.

Human-beings get rich as they grow old: Silver in Hair; Gold in Teeth; Sugar in Blood; Precious Stones in Kidney; And a never ending supply of Gas!

I bought a new printer because it was cheaper than ink refills. Now I’m wondering how long before new cars are cheaper than fuel.

A newly wedded desperate soldier sends a hand-grenade to his mother-in-law, with a note: Dearest Mom, If you pull this ring, I’ll be able to get 3 days leave.

A teacher sent a note to Pappu’s mother: “Sincere and bright boy but spends too much time with girls.” Pappu’s mother sent a note back: “Please advise solution, father has same problem!”

Bunty to his friend, “I and Sham were stuck on the escalator for almost 4 hours. Friend: Why didn’t you walk down? Bunty: Because we were going up!…………..

Bunty : The mudpack definitely improved my wife’s looks but then… Sham : Then what happened? Bunty : It fell off……………..

Why Are Elephants Large, Gray And Wrinkly… ? Because If They Were Small Round & White They Would Be ”Aspirins” ;->

Boy U r d Sunshine Of My Life ! Without U Life’s Like A Dreamy Cloud ! U r In My Heart Like A Lovely Drizzle In d Sun ! Girl: Now Go Further I’ve 2 Listen More Weather Report :p

Attitude of girls: When a boy sends dirty sms she laughs for 10 minutes, forward dat to her friends n then replies the boy. “i dont like that kind of sms ok?” :p ;->

Man on phone: Doctor my wife is pregnant.She is having pain right now. Doctor: Is this her first child? Man: No this is her husband speaking…

Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?” Millionaire: “I owe everything to my wife.” Interviewer: “Wow, she must be some woman. Interviewer: “What were you before you married her?” Millionaire: “A Billionaire”

Friends I’m Collecting Quad Photos Give Ur Contribution 2 My Collection. A Small Condition Is It Must Be On 500 Or 1000 Rupees Note

Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller?

Tommy: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl. Define a True Music Lover?

A Girl singing in a Bathroom While Taking Bath and a Boy Near the Keyhole is Using His Ears Not His Eyes.

Teacher says to student, In Algebra A=B & B=C. It means A=C.

143 means? Do u want to know what it means? Press Down.. It means ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY THREE. Tomorrow I will teach u 144.

Now give relevant example. Student: Sir, I love you & You love your daughter, It means that I love your daughter.

Buyer to seller : is it pure honey ? How do I know if it is pure honey ? Seller : give the dog some honey .. if the dog doesn’t lick it, it is pure honey

Buyer : what if the dog licks it ? Seller: so it is not a real dog.

Thought of the day: “if u help a gal when she is in problem, she will always remember u only when she is in problem again..!!”

A very old lady teacher of English ask this question with the class: When I say “I am beautiful”, which tense is it? One pupil answered: Its the past tense of course.

Flowers die, Stories end, Songs fade, Memories are forgotten, All things come 2 end, But people like u r remembered forever, Bcoz GHOSTS NEVER DIE

Santa was drawing money from ATM. Banta, who was just behind him in the line said: I’ve seen ur password. It’s ****. Sant: U r wrong. It’s 1394.

A man to Santa: Your friend is kissing your wife in your home. Santa rushes home and came back within half an hour and slapped the man and said: “He’s not my friend.”

1 day u’ll B srprisd 2 c ME beside U. U & ME laughing, U & ME crying, U & ME dreaming, U & ME holding on, U & ME… just U & ME sitting in a MENTAL HOSPITAL & ME CHECKING U.

I always think about U. I can’t live without U. I really need U. I’m totally mad about U. I just wanna be with U. I’m crazy 4 U. I wanna marry U. I LOVE U. (My neighbourer say all this to me)

A newly married girl got first class in her B.Ed exams. Her husband sent telegram to her parents – Ruby First Class in Bed!

A Man saw a Beautiful Girl, he Went and Kissed her. Girl: “STUPID what r u doing?” Man: B.Com final year”

Wife: I wish I was a newspaper so I would be in ur hands all day. Husband: I too wish that u were a newspapers so I could have a new one everyday.

A man in Hell asked Devil: Can I make a call to my Wife? After making call he asked how much to pay. Devil : Nothing, Hell to hell is Free.

Q: What did the gangster’s son tell his dad when he failed his examination? A: Dad they questioned me for 3 hours but I never told them anything.”

Several women appeared in court, each accusing the other of the trouble in the flat where they lived. The judge called for orderly testimony. “I’ll hear the oldest first,” he decreed. The case was closed for lack of evidence.

Twinkle Twinkle little star, You should know what you are, And once you know what you are, Mental hospital is not so far.

Boy and girl of class 2 asked teacher: “can kids of our age have kids?” Teacher replied ” NO Never!!” Boy said to girl : “see i told you not to worry!!!!”.

Always start your day with a lot of S E X S-mile E-energy X-excitement so make SEX a daily habit, & u’ll always be SMILING!

Someday you may lose your hair. you may lose your teeth- your money & even lose your mind. But 1 thing you will never loose is your good looks. because you cant lose what you don’t have!

Love is possible after friendship but friendship is not possible after love because medicines work before death later nothing can be cured….!!!

Who‘s hot… Its U, Who‘s Charming… Its U, Who‘s Sweetest.. Its U, Who‘s Intelligent… Its U, Who‘s dear & near friend… Its U Who‘s a liar.. Its me

Catch her by her waist… Bring her home.. Keep ur hand on her neck Put ur lips on her lips & have a … …nice drink…PEPSI

2 men were fixing a bomb in a car. Men 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing. Men 2 : Don’t worry, I have a one more.

Hey friend remember that without stupidity there can be no wisdom & without ugliness there can be no beauty so the world needs YOU after all!

Human brain is the most outstanding object in world. It functions 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. It functions right from the time we are born, and stop only when we enter the examination hall.

Husband: Today is Sunday & I have to enjoy it. So i bought 3 movie tickets. Wife: Why three? Husband: 1 For U and 2 for ur parents.

This cat, is cat, a cat, good cat, way cat, to cat, keep cat, a cat, idiot cat, busy cat, for cat, 20 cat, seconds cat! Now read it all without the word cat!

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.

What’s the difference between wife n neighbors wife? Wife is a chocolate, can have any time. Neighbor’s wife is like an ice-cream, shud hv immediately.

An engineering student to his sweeper brother: I have got degree, I have got knowledge, I can sit in society. What do you have? Sweeper: I have the job.