Funny Messages-3

Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do? Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

Gal: Do u have any sentimental love cards? Shopkeeper: How about this card, it says ‘To the only boy I ever loved’ Gal: Great! I want 10 of them.

Girl: It’s 2 tight Boy: Don’t worry,I’ll do it slowly, Gal: Push it in, Boy: Ah..I can’t, Gal: It’s painful, Boy: Forget it. We’ll buy new WEDDING RING!

Father: Your teacher says she finds it Impossible to teach you anything! Son: That’s why I say she’s no good!

Never KISS a lady police, She will say, hands up. Never KISS a lady doctor, She will say, Next please Always KISS a lady teacher, She will say, repeat it 5 time

What is the difference between Monkey & Donkey ? Monkey saves this message & Donkey deletes this message. Choice is u’rs……..:p

Man: Officer! There’s a bomb in my garden! Officer: Don’t worry. If no one claims it Within three days, you can keep it.

Whats d height of hope?? It is: sitting in d exam hall, holding d question paper in hand n telling Ur self “dude,don’t worry. Exams will get postponed!”

Dream makes everything possible, Hope makes everything work, Luv makes everything beautiful, Smile makes all the above… So always Brush ur Teeth

Boy: I am not rich like Sid, I don’t even have a bid car like Sid. But I really love you! Girl: I love you too, but tell me more about Sid.

After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, You know, I was a fool when I married you. She replied, Yes dear, I know but I was in love and didnt notice.

Only true friends stand by u during bad times. I promise I will attend ur wedding.

Two devils came in 2 my dreams. They said, “We want 2 disturb some good person.” I suggest them your name. They said, “We cannot disturb our boss.”

TEACHER: Johny, how do you spell “crocodile”? JOHNY: “K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L” TEACHER: No, that’s wrong JOHNY: Maybe it’s wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!

What? is a difference between a Kiss, a Car and a Monkey? A kiss is so dear,? A car is too dear and A monkey is U dear.

Husband: u will never succeed in making that dog obey u! Wife: Nonsense it’s only a matter of patience, I had a lot of trouble with u at first.

Can v do romance in the evening today? I’m in a good mood Just a little bit of kissing and biting reply me soon! urs lovingly “MOSQUITO”

Last night was my fault, my wife asked, “what’s on the TV?” and ….. I said, “dust!”

Ladies hostel caught Fire It took 1 hour to bring the Fire under control & another 3 hrs 2 bring d Firemen under control.

Man shows his marriage certificate Chemist: Oh! sorry, I didn’t knew u had a prescription.

Man : How old is your father? Boy : As old as me. Man : How can that be? Boy : He became a father only when I was born

Man at medical store:I need poison Chemist: I can’t sell you that

If I was an artist, you would be my picture! If I was a poet, you would be my inspiration! If I was an author you would be my story! But I’m only a cartoonist!

Do u know whats A B C D E F G? A Boy Can Do Everything For Girl Now reverse da order, can u guess the full form of: G F E D C B A ? Girls Forgets Everything Done & Catches(new) Boy Again.

When u feel lonely and alone & cannot see any one around you, the world seems to be fading away, come along with me i’ll take u to an eye specialist !!

Teacher : What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? Pupil : A teacher.

Wife: What is 10 years with me? Husband: A second. Wife: What is $1000 for me? Husband: A coin. Wife: Ok give me a coin. Husband: Wait a second

U r a nice person… but.. U have to do 2 things early in the morning… 1st. pray to God so that u can live…. 2nd.take a bath so that others can live….

Judge: why did u shoot ur wife instead of shooting her lover? Man: Your honor, it’s easier to shoot a woman once, than shooting one man every week.

Teacher : Correct the sentence, “A bull and a cow is grazing in the field” Student : “A cow and a bull is grazing in the field” Teacher : How? Student : Ladies first.

True Love is like a pillow. U could HUG it when Ur in trouble. U could CRY on it when Ur in pain. U could EMBRACE it when Ur happy. Want True Love? Spend Rs.50 buy a Pillow.

When u feel sad…. To cheer up just go to the mirror and say, “damn I am really so cute” u will overcome your sadness. But don’t make this a habit….. Coz liars go to hell !!!!

A beautiful girl goes to Professor cabin And Say that i will do anything to pass in the exams and professor says NOW OPEN YOUR Books And Study

Difference between Friend & Wife U can Tell ur Friend “U r my Best Friend” But Do u have courage tell to ur Wife “U r my Best Wife?”

Misuse of English! A Diagram in A Book Was Not Clear So the Teacher Drew The Diagram On Da Blackboard & said: “Don’t Look At The Book Figure,Look At My Figure”:D

Fact about women: They can see a hair of a girl on their husband’s coat from 20 meters, but can’t see a pillar from 2 meters while parking a car . . .

READ THIS SCARY STORY IF YOU DARE. On a rainy day, an old man was standing with a book for sale. A young man came to buy. He bought the book for Rs.3000. Old man advised “DON’T OPEN LAST PAGE OF THE BOOK otherwise YOU’ll face problem” Man finished the book with great fear but didn’t open the last page. But,after a week, Out of curiosity he opened the last page and.. he almost fainted to see.. Retail Price: Rs 30/-

Wife: yesterday-night I saw a dream That u were sending me Jewelry and clothes! Husband: yeah, I saw your dad paying the bill !!!

I just feel u…. Whenever I feel u…. I just miss u ….. Whenever i miss u …. I just wanna See u …. Do u know why……. It’s juts because ………… ******I LOVE CARTOONS*******

Teacher: Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun. Everyone must attend it. Sam: No! I will not be able to attend it. Teacher: Why? Sam: My mother will not allow me to go so far !!

A person who surrenders when he’s WRONG, is HONEST. A person who SURRENDERS when not SURE, is WISE. A person who surrenders even if he’s RIGHT, is a HUSBAND.!

In a practical Exam Examiner showed legs of bird n said: Tell the bird’s name Man: I don’t know Examiner: U r failed. Whats Ur name? Man: You see my legs, and tell me.

Importance of thumb… Children use it 4 chewing Illiterate people use it 4 sign

Winners 4 victory AND My FANS use it 4 reading my messages Oh….u too…..?

Do u want to hear a dirty joke? Are you sure? OK, here you go… A white horse fell in the mud

A recently fired stock trader said … “This is worse than divorce… I have lost everything and I still have my wife…”

David: You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year’s performance repeated.

Q: Do u know y in a couple’s photo man is on d right side & woman on d left? A: Coz as per balance sheet, Liabilities r on d Left Side & Assets on d Right!

Tom : How should I convey the news to my father that I’ve failed?

I wrote your name on sand, it got washed. I wrote your name in air, it was blown away. I wrote your name on my heart & i got Heart Attack.

Our friendship means a lot to me. U cry i cry. U laugh i laugh. U jump out of the window I look down & then I laugh again

Man 1: “I m Always Delighted When People Stick Their Noses In My Business.” Man 2: “Why, What Do You Do?” Man 1: “i’ve A Company, Make Tissue Papers …” ;->

What Happens When The Elephant Sat On The Mercedes Car … ??? Everyone Knows “The Mercedes bends” ;->

Teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match.

Do u know how to entertain Foolish/Stupid peoples * PRESS DOWN * > < > * PRESS UP *