REASONS Y DOGS R BETTER
DAN WOMEN dogs obey wen u shout @ dem dogs dont shop u can giv away ur dogs
children any guy can get a good lookin dog!
A prime candidate for
natural de-selection.
A rose by any other name
still has thorns.
All day I thought of
you....I was at the zoo.
Anybody who told you to
be yourself simply couldn't have given you worse advice...
Are you always this
stupid or are you making a special effort today
Are you typing with your
forehead, again?
As you go through life
you are going to have many opportunities to keep your mouth shut. Take
advantage of all of them.
B. I. T. C. H. Beautiful
Intelligent Talented Cute Horny r u smiling now? *YOU BITCH*
Beauty Tip: If U Want 2
protect Ur Face From Dust, Mud & Other Such Things Then apply ASIAN PAINTS
Exterior Emulsion on ur face 7 yrs guarantee!!
Best SmS of 1947 . . .
Was there any mobile at that time? Please ! Use your brain atleast once in your
life time !
Brains aren't everything.
In fact in your case they're nothing
Calling you an idiot
would be an insult to all the stupid people.
Cigarette, A fire at one
end, a fool at the other, and a bit of tobacco in between.
Do I look like a damn
people person?
Do u remember ur
childhood? When u wen 2 a doll shop, stood infront of a doll n askd uncle! How
much is that monkey doll shpkper replied that is a mirror my child -)
Don't let you mind wander
- it's far too small to be let out on its own
Don't piss me off! I'm
running out of places to hide the bodies.
Folk clap when they see
you...but they clap their hands over their eyes.
For every action there is
an equal and opposite criticism.
Get a glass belly button,
so when your head is real far up your butt, you can look out and see what the
rest of the world is up to
Get a glass belly button,
so when your head is real far up your butt, you can look out and see what the
rest of the world is up to.
Get up all u lazy people
and do something 4 the nation. . . Oh sorry, it was u?? U go back to sleep..
That will be better for the nation.
Get your mind out of the
gutter - it's blocking my view.
Gravity doesn't exist.
Earth sucks.
Haven't I seen your face
before - on a police poster?
Haven't I seen your face
before - on a police poster? Look who's talking - I bet when you go to the zoo
you have to buy two tickets: one to get in and another to get out.
He campaigned to have the
only Bar in his town closed. When it did, he moved away.
He dips Sparrows in
Peroxide and sells them as Canaries.
He does the work of three
men: Curly, Larry and Moe
He doesn't know the
meaning of the word "fear" - but then again he doesn't know the
meaning of most words
He fashions himself as an
Insult Samurai. Insult Kamikaze is more apt.
He folds his newspaper on
the bus so that the guy sitting across from him has to read the news upside
down.
He has no equal. Everyone
else is better.
He who laughs last has no
sense of humor.
He would throw a drowning
man both ends of the rope just to see the look on his face.
He'll take off his jacket
and put it on the seat next to him on the train, just to stop a pregnant lady
from sitting down.
He's running around like
a chicken with its head cut off.
He's so full of shit, his
eyes are brown.
Hey friend remember dat
without stupidity there can be no wisdom & without ugliness there can be no
beauty..so the world needs YOU after all!
Hi there, I'm a human
being! What are you?
His idea of a practical
joke is to go into the Home for the Blind and flatten out all the Braille.
I don't know what makes
you so dumb but it really works
I heard that you changed
your mind. So, what did you do with the diaper?
I heard that you went to
the haunted house and they offered you a job.
I heard that you were a
Ladykiller. They take one look at you and die of shock.
I heard you were so cool
that you began teaching remedial classes at Cucumber college.
I know what sign you were
born under...'RED LIGHT DISTRICT'
I Like 3 things: Pizza.
Pepsi. & You. Pizza 2 eat. Pepsi 2 drink. & You 2 clean the table.
I look at the moon, the
moon is beautiful... I look at you.. I.. I'd rather look at the moon
again..
I see you've set aside
this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I think the sun shines
out of your arse.
I think the sun shines
out of your arse. Well, you're living proof that even a turd can be
polished.
I'd love to ask how old
you are, but unfortunately I know you can't count that high.
If I was as ugly as you
were, I wouldn't say Hi to folk, I'd say BOO!
If some1 asks me wat is
humanity, I wud sit next to u, Pull you close to me Put my arms around u and
say proudly LOVING ANIMALS Thats humanity)
If you can laugh at
yourself, you've got a really sick sense of humor.
If you put your face by a
door, no one would ever come in
If your face had
"Welcome" written on it, it would make a perfect doormat
Is that a comeback? For
fuck's sake, I wipe my ass with sharper stuff than this.
Is your name Maple Syrup?
- Well, it damn well should be, you sap!
Ive been arrested 4 being
the ugliest person, Can u come here n show them its a mistake?
I've seen more life in a
down and out's vest.
Kind, intelligent, loving
and hot. This describes everything you are not...
Let's be honest with each
other . . . we've both come here for the same reasons.
Let's be honest with each
other . . . we've both come here for the same reasons. Yes, you're right. Let's
go and pull some girls.
Listen, are you always
this stupid or are you just making a special effort today?
Look who's talking - I
bet when you go to the zoo you have to buy two tickets: one to get in and
another to get out.
Love + Ship = Titanic ,
Dinosaur + Forest = Jurassic Park , Arnold+ Gun = Terminator, You + Your Smile
= The mummy Returns..
Man is the only animal
that blushes - or needs to.
May the horses break
their harnesses trying to pull my dick out of your mother!
Mother Nature is a
supreme bitch.
My darling, my lover, my
beautiful wife, Marrying you really messed up my life...
Never deprive someone of
hope - it may be all they have.
Never wrestle a pig. You
both get dirty, and the pig likes it.
Next time you shave, try
standing an inch or two closer to the blade.
Peanut prizes inspire
monkey contestants.
People are more violently
opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than
motorcycle gangs.
People like him don't
just grow on trees - they swing from them
Press Down if u think u r
MAD. I cant Believe u Did That! Again? For God Sake! LORD!! Why u Still Doing
it? Truth is out now! MENTAL CASE!!
Roses r red, violets r
blue, Sugar is sweet, and so are u. But da roses r wilting, da violets r dead,
da sugar bowl's empty and so is ur head!
Save your breath...You'll
need it to blow up your date.
Shouldn't you have a
license for being that ugly?
Sometimes my mind asks
Why I miss U? Why I care 4 U? Why I remember U? Then my heart answered its
simply bcoz mental patients need more care.hav nice day.
Suicide is the most
sincere form of self-criticism.
Sure, I'd love to help
you out...now, which way did you come in?
Sure, I've seen people
like you before - but I had to pay an admission...
Sweet Insults- I Luv you!
But ive got bad taste Dats a cute shirt.Wat did u do wit d rest of d table
cloth. I wud lik 2 help u out-which way did u cme in?
Teenagers are people who
express a burning desire to be different by dressing exactly alike.
Thanx 4ur support last
year wth ur purchases v hv achieved gud sales pls continue ur kind support
-M.D. Kohinoor Condom Small size division
Them: I never forget a
face You: Neither do I but in your case I'll make an exception
There is always one more
imbecile than you counted on.
There you go again,
flushing the sweet milk of human kindness through the U-bend of cynicism.
Think well, Plan well, Do
well, Sleep well, Play well, Laugh well and Throw your mobile also into well, Because
you are not Messaging me Well!
This isn't an office.
It's Hell with fluorescent lighting
This sms can only be read
by someone SEXY try again again maybe you are just not sexy? one more time hey
don't force it ugly!!!
Tipz To Beat Summer 1-Drink
Lot Of Fresh Water 2-Cover Ur Head Wen Outside 3-Eat Vgetables But Most
Important 4-Msg Me Daily Bcz Im so COOL.
Unlike others ur brain is
a master piece, It is divided in to 2 parts. Left & Right.. In the left
nothing is right & in the right nothig is left.. -)
We have strange and
wonderful relationship. You're strange and I'm wonderful.
Well, they do say
opposites attact...so I sincerely hope you meet somebody who is attractive,
honest, intelligent, and cultured.
Well, you're living proof
that even a turd can be polished.
When he dies, they'll
bury him face down, so that he can see where he's going.
Whenever I feel that I
Miss U, I close my eyes.. Thn i feel u that u sit beside me. I wont open my
eyes.. Bcz of the fear that u may come out thru my tears.
Whenever i missU i vl
read ur sms Whenever I want to see U , Ijst close my eyes Whenever I want to
hear ur voice I throw stones at DOGs.
Who Wants 2 B A
MILLIONAIRE Lets play? Q.Nobody likes you because you are a: A.Assole B.Good
for nothing C.Ugly D.Di*khead 50-50 Fon a Friend or Ring me I will Tell u!
Why didn't Noah swat
those two mosquitoes?!
Why don't you freeze your
teeth and give your tongue a sleigh ride?
Why don't you slip into
something more comfortable...like a coma.
Yes, you're right. Let's
go and pull some girls.
You are proof that God
has a sense of humor.
You couldn't warn to him
even if you were both cremated together.
You get plenty of
exercise jumping to conclusions, pushing you luck, beating around the bush, and
dodging the issue.
You got a face only a
mother could love...unfortunately she too hates it!
You should learn from
your parents mistakes - try using some birth control.
You started at the
bottom...and it's been downhill ever since!
Your face doesn't look
like a doorstep, it looks like the door just kept going
Your face is such a mess,
when you practice diving why don't you make sure the pool has water in next
time.
Your face is such a mess,
why don't you get your dog something different to chew on ?
Your face is such a mess,
why don't you get your dog something different to chew on ? Your face is such a
mess, you should stop reading before slamming the book shut
Your face is such a mess,
you must stop using it to hammer in nails
Your face is such a mess,
you should stop reading before slamming the book shut
Your face looks like
you've been using it as a doorstop
Your face looks like
you've been using it as a doorstop Your face would not only stop a door, but
also most clocks and a herd of charging buffalo
Your face would not only
stop a door, but also most clocks and a herd of charging buffalo
Your network tariff has
changed! Call charges are now calculated according to brain size. The smaller
the cheaper! Congrats You can make free calls!
You're about as
challenging as stealing candy from a bi-polar baby in a bell-jar.
You're about as much use
as a Betamax videorecorder
You're about as subtle as
a gynecologist wearing a gas mask and a hair net.
You're red shirt goes
well with your eyes...
You've got the perfect weapon against muggers - yer face.
You're so weak, you
couldn't knock a sick whore off a shit pot.
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