Funny English Jokes -3

The Architect One Sunday, an architect visited Seoul, Korea. He was there for a conference but had all Sunday to explore the city. He decided to take a taxi around the city and see lots of sites. He paid the taxi driver $100 and said, “Take me around Seoul and show me all the sites” The taxi driver was very happy for the business and started driving. Immediately, they saw a big, beautiful palace. The architect said in a loud voice (for he was from Texas). “What is the building?” The taxi driver said, “That is Gyeongbokgung. It took almost 20 years to build! “Ah, that’s nothing” replied the American. “We could build that in a year in America. The driver continued driving. Suddenly the Texan saw a large domed building. He asked, “What building is that?” The taxi driver said, “That is the National Assembly, it is the largest in Asia.” The architect replied, “Ah, that’s nothing. Back home, we could build that in a few weeks!” The taxi driver continued driving. They passed a very high, gold building which shimmered in the sun. The architect jumped up in his seat and screamed, “Oh my god! What building is that?” The taxi driver looked back at him and shook his head. He said, “I DON’T KNOW. IT WASN’T THERE THIS MORNING!”

The Salesman Henry Leech was a salesman. He was a good salesman and sold lots of vacuum cleaners. One week, the manager sent Henry into the countryside to sell. He drove out of town and stopped at a farmhouse. He knocked on the door and the farmer’s wife opened it. Henry started into his speech immediately. “Mam, how much time do you spend sweeping the floors? “ “A lot of time. This is a farm and things get dirty quickly.” said the woman. “And how much time do you spend beating the carpets?” asked Henry. “A lot of time. This house gets dusty and my dog also lays on them” “Well” said Henry, “This is your lucky day.” Henry showed her his vacuum cleaner and said, “You can clean the house in 5 minutes with this!” The farmer’s wife didn’t look interested. Henry took out a big bag of dirt. He opened it and threw it all over the floor. The farmer’s wife was very surprised. Before she could speak Henry said, “ Mam, if this machine doesn’t pick up every last piece of dirt, I will eat all of it!!!!!” The farmer’s wife looked at Henry and said, “WELL, I WILL GET YOU A SPOON. WE HAVE NO ELECTRICITY.”

The Dog Linda Robinson was very thirsty so she went into a cafe. There was anold woman in the cafe. She was sitting near the door at a table. At her feet, under the table, there was a small dog. Linda bought a glass of lemonade and some cookies. She sat down at the table next to the old woman. The old woman sat quietly. She looked lonely. Linda decided to be kind and talk to the old woman. “It is very hot today.” she said. “Yes, but it is nice inside here.” replied the old woman. Linda looked at the dog and asked, “Does your dog like people.” The woman answered, “Oh! Yes! She loves people.” Linda wanted to give the dog a cookie. So she asked, “ Does your dog like cookies?” “They are his favourite food.” said the old lady. Linda was terribly afraid of dogs so she asked, “Does your dog bite?” The old woman smiled and said, “ NO! My dog is very tame. She is even afraid of cats!” Linda took a cookie in her hand and reached under the table. She put it near the dog’s mouth. But the dog didn’t bite the cookie, she bit her hand! Linda jumped up, spilling her lemonade. She screamed, “I thought you said, your dog didn’t bite.” The old woman looked at Linda and then at the dog. Then she said, “THAT’S NOT MY DOG!”

Nasreddin Hoca's Jokes Nasrettin Hodja's donkey was stolen. In stead of consolling, his neighbours were blaming him saying. "You should have locked the shed," "Didn't you hear any noises?" "You should have tied the donkey securely." Nasrettin Hodja listened patiently, for awhile and finnaly said, "Well, you are putting all the blame on me. Do you think the thief was innocent?"

Tuesday NamazHodja dress up his frock and ride Karakaçan. In his way one of his collegue’s asks: Where are you going Hodja? I am going to Friday Namaz. How can you do that, today is Tuesday? HOdja shows Karakaçan and says: I never know my faihtful Karakaçan’s way, we can hardly catch it on friday.

How FarHodja was running as fast and shouting as loud as he could. Somebody saw him and thought something had happened to him. So, he ran up to Nasrettin Hodja and asked, "What happened, Hodja?" Nasreddin Hodja kept on running and said, "I wondered how far my voice travels. So, I am running after it."

Nasreddin Hodja - Earth's BalanceThey asked Hodja, "Sir,in the morning some people go this way and some go the opposite way. Why?" Hodja answered, "If they went in the same direction, the Earth would loose its balance and toople."

EXPENSİVE BİRDSNasreddin Hodja approached to a crowd gathered around a man in the market of Aksehir. The man was trying to sell his own bird and its price was too high, 50 Akce (Akce=old Turkish gold coin). On the other side, one chicken was for 5 Akce. The Hodja couldn’t get the much difference in the prices and asks; -My fellow countryman, what kind of bird is it you want 50 Akce? -Hodja Effendi, this one is not a kind of bird that you know, this has special property. -What is its speciality? -My Hodja, this bird is called parrot and speaks. The Hodja suddenly runs home, takes his turkey from the coop, and comes back to the market. He stays near the man selling the parrot and loudly; -This bird you see is only for 100 Akce, come, comeee! The most surprised man in the crowd was the seller of the parrot and he asks; -My Hodja, isn’t 100 Akce too high for a turkey? -But you are selling yours for 50 Akce, replies Hodja. -But mine speaks as I said before -So what, mine thinks!